There are many songs and stories written about kings of phony, princesses of pretense, gorgeous copycats and psycho pseudos. Mademoiselle fake plays her role in fake love, fake friends, fake beauty, fake happy.
When an old friend judged my social media smiles as such, I was shocked. “That’s not the real you,” he commented. He knew me from the 70s, when punk was a political statement and a rebellion against the saturated middle class. Nice was too normal, shopping a consumerist sin and prancing in pretty clothes was devilishly Prada.
I had to admit that friend was right; my public image wasn’t always an expression of my personal situation not to talk of my political opinion but my theater of the moment was never phony, in he now of photo shoots I was my smile. My image had become my medicine.
Fake is bad but can be used for good.
Fake it to make it is a power. My smile against the odds lifted me out of crisis, awakened my inner child and playful outfits helped me to find my strength. I could cuddle up in deep existential thoughts for hours, get up for a pretty in pink photo shoot and back to writing about the demise of the human race, not feeling that I just lied at all. I was totally real in my attempts to find out what the heck my real really was.
2021 arrived and #beingreal is more in than ever. We post our make up free faces and casually unadorned comfort; styles formerly judged as unattractive. It’s a worthy rebellion against the excruciating demands of the fashion and beauty industry. Our daily normal is a welcome disruption of painfully superficial vanities but real isn’t being normal. Normal is boring. (until we play it loud like normcore)
We are here to create, to evolve, to become better; to make the best out of our potential. It’s a journey which sometimes needs the fake to arrive at the real.
Being fake to arrive at our real
Not pretty, slim, sexy or young enough? Play it and it becomes your very own make belief. An actor who embodies her/his role perfectly often comes out on the other end enriched with feelings he’d never imagined to identify with. Creative discovery means to explore, to play and build sand castles, to test and fail. Truth can be fantastically bright and being natural? Just one look at the mind boggling creativity of nature shows us the true meaning of natural; its not beige but a psychedelic color feast.
Fake has several levels
Unintentionally fake - the person who imitates and follows trends without thinking because “that’s what girls do.”
Needy fake - the person who craves to “be somebody” and uses real or fake adornments to show their worth
Fearfully fake - the person who holds on to one persona/ image as everything else would endanger the safety of their social box
Intentionally fake - the person who uses an artificial image for monetary or other gains
Consciously fake - the person who tries out roles to discover who she/he really is
When I post a smile and really wanna cry it’s still authentic as my smile is an attempt to get me out of my momentary misery by giving lightness to others. The key is to check in with our feelings and motivations; to know where we are at and be brave enough to share the fearful as much as the fierce.
Real is a dance of all our personas and made up alter egos can become guides to new power.
One dimensional is fake
When we are forced to hold on to just one expression of ourselves we are in dis-ease; human beings have complex genes and history. Long gone are the times where having multiple personalities was only considered a dis-order; they can be here to serve us.
Stepping into what we’re afraid of, faking the rebel, the yuppie, the wild woman or diva, might reveal that we thought we knew as our selves is just a fraction of the truth.
Real is a medley of our frumpy, funky, fancy; the all of you or me.
