I just fell off the office chair.
I stared at blog by a midlife woman asking Mattel to create a Midlife Barbie for a couple good reasons like “Instead of playing make-believe with a fresh-faced know-nothing, why not introduce our kids to a Barbie who reflects both our lives and their future?” the blogger asks. Nice.
But then she continued with her design idea:
“Boomer Barbie would be shorter and plumper than original Barbie, and would come with at least one ailment (bad knees, a bad back, cataracts, etc.) to kvetch about with the other Boomer Barbies. (The deluxe model has genuine hot flashes!) And all of them would talk, saying things like “Where did I put my glasses?” “I’d love a cup of green tea.” “Is it hot in here?” And the couples go like this: “Silver Fox Barbie and Slightly Balding Ken have a Dream House with a paid-off mortgage, fat 401(k)s, a Viagra prescription and matching Medicare cards….”
That’s not telling our grand children that “there’s more to life.” It’s telling them that growing up means growing down into ailments and insanity.
It’s supposed to be funny I know, but self deprecation is counter productive. Her Barbie vision cements an outmoded view of old. We are a new generation of fabulous, fit, fun and relevant explosions of life, that’s what shall be promoted. Social media imagery either holds us in chains or brings society forward. I opt for forward.
Self deprecation in midlife is a knife into the heart of true confidence.
Many childhood dolls are created as representatives of children to teach them important skills. By taking care of a doll, they learn how to take care of one another, be responsible, have empathy and compassion. Communicating with them via role playing, kids acts out their dreams and fears, even their traumas. I saw a kid beating up his doll on the play ground, screaming at it not to lie...
Looking at the psychology of it perhaps the above described “normally” challenged middle aged doll is good for kids to act out how much they do not want to become like them.
I painted my dolls with nail polish making them look grotesque; I hated them with all my six-year young heart. To me they were revoltingly pretty, with sugary smiles, pink cheeks and properly ironed outfits. I wanted revenge on the curly haired angelic monsters because I didn’t want to be the typical girl as in “you are just a girl.” Silly, weak and wrapped in cotton candy? I wanted to climb trees and be loud and dirty like a boy. I hated pink and didn’t play with Barbies.
But when young minds do…. do they act out their dreams and fears, even their traumas playing with Barbie? Is “taking care” of a Barbie doll perhaps the opposite of having empathy and compassion by suffering under body issues and perfection nightmares? Do they get a cool sense of design or is it all manipulation to grow into the sexy woman, no matter what color the skin or size of the body?
Barbie dolls make it obvious that dolls are often manipulative and demanding. Their normative presentation of what desirable beauty is has screwed over generations of girls. Even female action figures with sword and daggers are super hot, big boobed sex symbols.
Barbie’s core is cuteness.
Barbie’s core is sexy cuteness, whatever she wears, be it rebel, librarian or queen style, it’s cute.
And here comes Barbie’s revenge.
For us midlife women she can be revolutionary because old women aren’t supposed to be cute. When we barbie up we disrupt the “over the hill” rule by re-appropriating sexy, for us, for our own smiles not to catch a guy.
When we are cute in midlife, society is shaken in its old fashioned galoshes.
Are you in MenoCore right now, the Diane Keaton inspired aesthetic of a middle-aged woman on a low-key beach vacation? Comfy slightly baggy linen, maybe a bucket hat, cozy knits, everything super flowy?
“Picture a 50-something-year-old woman who doesn’t care what other people think and just wants to be supremely comfortable,” say the Millennial in 2018 when MenoCore was born. NormCore and MenoCore are certainly and sarcastically trendy-cool on women under 30.
Billowy pants sporting elasticized waist bands, head-to-toe ecru, loose tops with bold prints, clunky sandals or sneakers, ponytails secured with scrunchies?
MenoCore spans a spectrum that reaches from white linen, rolled-up khaki pant cuffs, life-on-the-beach vibe following Diane Keaton, Whoopi Goldberg and Lauren Hutton to the more dramatic tropical or clashing print, massive jumble of gold and sentimental necklaces and silky kaftan-wearing vibe and advantage age idols like Miucci Prada. (73)
When we are pre, post or full in meno, the social media proposed options are advantaged age theatrical riches hiding frail bodies or baggy robes to comfortably adjust to extra weight. Why hide anything? The only way to find true confidence and create a solid ground for change is to stand up for the situation in which we find ourselves.
Hot flashes and sassy clothes work in any style when the fabric is light and breathable or we expose our skin. Not wanting to show curves or skin because of the added pounds? Wearing mesh tops underneath makes corsets, crop tops or mini skirts workable.
Don’t loose weight because society forces you to with fat shaming. Loose weight for yourself because it contributes to your healthy longevity. Everything that’s forced won’t work. That’s one of the reasons so many diets fail. To make it work is to be clear about our WHY.
The same with outfits; if you truly desire to wear body con for your own esthetic sake you should and the happier you are the more the pounds drop.
Mindset and attitude are important ingredients of any goal.
When shoulders squeal in pain when trying to put up that zipper in the back of a pencil dress we might be more consistent with taking our Curcumin supplements. What I’m saying here is; if we want to make a point of being alive and sassy, visible and relevant, outfits matter, even guide us to our “better selves” inside and out. Sartorial tricks to lift us into confidence are plenty.
Barbie up, sass out, rebel against ageism your way.
Barbie hurts the self image of under 30 women but she is transformed to a rebel when adapted in midlife.
MenoCore allows young women to feel grown up ease, calm and confidence in a chaotic world but it cements the traditional old woman look of those over 50 and diminishes our power in midlife.
I opt for giving young girls a new make belief; a midlife Barbie doll should present an edgy elegant, sensual woman in the best chapter of her life.
She should say that we aren’t all super model material but we can train our bodies to be fit, strong and flexible. We create a future vision of a new generation of self loving women that makes all of us feel the amazing potentials women have no matter what age.
A sexy midlife Barbie is revolutionary
A sexy midlife Barbie is an action figure; revolutionary because “old” women, meaning those of us who are not not capable of pro creation anymore, are not supposed to look desirable; a medieval road of thought that is still taken in mass culture. Her weapons are the jewels of self love and the sword of No.
A sexy midlife woman isn’t a cougar hunting men to make her happy. She is self reliant, sophisticated, knowledgeable and loaded with deeper knowing. She wears her outfits with awareness and self love. Midlife Barbie then would represent a rebel with a cause; she wants aging to be a high road into fulfillment not a slide into sickness and death. Grandma Barbie is a powerful centenarian CEO, adventurer or star of her own making, who might take a tiny break in an arm chair baby sitting.
Baudelaire said that kids destroy their toys to find their soul. We deconstruct Barbie and with it the outmoded expectations of “old.” We rebuild her in us as the most amazing role models.
We can gradually train society to extend their tight norms of what beauty is.
It needs rebellion to shake up old mindsets