“Bold, rad, badass,” were the comments on my outfit; a 60s crochet bras on bare skin appearing under an oversized coat. My booties said “Do Ya Thing.”
So what, you might say. Celebs started in 2017 to show their bras on naked skin, under jackets or instead of a top. Now it’s a trend, big deal… You’re right. Badass actions are easy when you’re famous, young and own a physique chiseled to society’s perfection.
In midlife our bodies are often not what “perfect” describes. Worse, ageism awaits us with jail jackets of suffocating judgments and outmoded expectations. The reaction to older women claiming their queendom is answered with belittling ahs and ohs and casting calls for the “crazy old chick.” The media presents sassy grandmas, who are “so cute” making the best of saggy features, of menopause brains or artificial hips. Aging is a weird struggle and brave tackle, which needs smart solutions not a grin. I rather do exercises to prevent sagging boobs than present them as funny. Self deprecation works on a comedian’s stage but in the midlife arena cements expectations of unavoidable decay.
Badassery in midlife requires a whole new set of fierce tools with a different self-loving polish. We’re letting our inner children play and tell them they can do whatever they set their minds on. My first bras gifted to me by an encouraging leader of a girls’ camp was a magical entry into teenage hood, an exciting sinful secret I hid from my mother. She would have ruined it with her fear of sexuality. My silky secret whispered that I would be okay one day, that it is a gift not a defeat to be a woman. Revisiting the experience of our first bras can be a flashlight into our mindset.
To experiment with out-of-the-box fashion like showing our lingerie is playful but even more; it’s like training our fierce in a boxing ring where we exercise who we are and what we want. Do we throw the towel adhering to old-fashioned values or swing the red gloves of liberation?
“Take your lingerie out of the closet” is the challenge of today. It’s also a giggle.
The first time I dared a bralette on bare skin under a coat was visiting an art opening where bold fashion is applauded and fear is fun like stage fright; I got the applause I hoped.
Afterwards I stepped into a late-open supermarket to buy dog food. A few shoppers acknowledged the bold style with a smile. Most were unimpressed as close to Hollywood unusual wardrobe or entertainment peeps are every day occurences. I walked tall in my combat boots. To propagate ageless rebeldom on social media is one thing, to live it is being a Roly Poly. One falls into “Damn I’m old” and gets up again to “Yay, I’m my ageless essence.”
Not every fearless fashion rebel act, which is anything I am afraid of, worried or judgmental about, has made me happy. This outfit did. Old chicks aren’t sexy? Give me a break.
My feminist mindset dislikes bras because of the negative sexist connotations, but being a midlife badass puts a new spin to it; showing off bras is rebellious. It says old chicks are a sensual force to reckon with, sexy in an evolved, aware, powerful self-loving way. I don’t reveal lingerie as a weapon on a cougar path. I throw my mirror image a kiss; me and me, we play for our very own empowering fun. We giggle about our daring and sometimes silly discoveries. To show our unrestrained playful to the world is an act of bravery like a political statement.
Our outfits come with stories. I freed myself of an abusive relationship in my late 30s stepping into the outfit of an “easy woman”. Silk stockings held up by a lacy girdle, matching bras and high heels helped to leave a man who disrespected me. I escaped in a polished Beamer into an affair with an artist who understood the attire. “I see you, I protect you.” Psychologists call objects we imbue with meaning “power objects.”
Sexy at 60 is a rebellion against ageism and a punch into sexism. We reclaim and reframe how we want to be seen.
Before they became push-up and plunge bras enhancing cleavage or padded to pretend big boobs, bras began as a powerful anti-repression and physical freedom support.
Only about 120 years ago the separation of bras and girdle ended the health threatening, suffocating, immobile dolls producing use of corsets. Feminists claimed that greater participation of women in society required emancipation from corsetry, a need for greater mobility outside and in. In 1874 Elizabeth Stuart Phelps urged to “Burn the corsets.” “Burn the bras,” was a slogan in more recent decades.
The history of women’s breasts and how they were wrapped or not could fill a 500-page book. The fascinating account of women’s repression and liberation intertwined with our changing social status, refelcts the evolution of fashion and changing views of the female body. Women have used a variety of garments and devices to cover, restrain, hide, reveal, flatten or enhance the appearance of their breasts. The style responded to society’s demands sprinkled with a few attempts to reclaim ownership of our bodies.
What do women really want? What’s our very own honest relationship to our boobs and bras?
I’m often bras-less under my outfits as less restriction lets me breathe easier. And, even if I never was a hippie, the colorful emotions and passionate calls for liberation of the 60s and 70s left an undeniable imprint. Bare boobs are cool in my world.
Philosophic pondering about human physiques and my aversion of glorifying body parts aside, I appreciate my breasts. My social conditioning tells me they’re cute. My rebel tells me that in a society putting so much importance on their styling I shall continue to treat them as sidekick of women power.
Viva breasts, bras and ageless rebel beauty.
We win confidence out of the box. You might discover a new fierce letting your bras come out of the closet.
How to style your liberated bras
Bralette over a T-shirt for an easygoing and edgy outfit.
Bustiers over blouses
Bras over or under a transparent shirt or dress
Go sans top and show a bralette under a blazer or coat like a top
Pair it with an unbuttoned vest or kimono
Show it under a loose crochet sweater
Sport it under or over fishnet tops
Let stylish bralettes peep out from beneath tank tops
Wear a lingerie top under a jacket
Tricks for the midlife woman
Combine the bralette with high waist pants
Use mesh tops with long sleeves
Button your jacket on the lower end if you’re nervous to reveal too much
Empowerment tips
Try it out at home or in a clothing store’s dressing cabin
What feelings come up looking at yourself?
Take a selfie
Post it on your favorite social platform, how does it feel? Scary, fun, empowering, rebellious?
Use your followers’ comments to discover more of your thoughts and feelings
Wear it outside
Repeat the above
Where does your reaction/judgement/emotion come from?
