On June 16, 2021, Victoria’s lingerie clad Angels entered the museum of cultural relics like sculptures of Aphrodite.
With a huge sigh of relief many women waved goodbye to the models of polished sensual perfection. The patriarchy cries tears of loss. I feel happy and — a little sad? How can that be? My ageless rebel feminist has written since decades about inclusivity and equality of all female shapes, ages and colors. It started in home sewn harem pants protesting the patriarchal imprisonment in college. Decades later, posting men’s “futuristic” designs of female robots on my 2015 blog La Femme Futura, I pushed for a new esthetic created by women. The big boobed Barbarellas in tight wearable tech jumpsuits insulted my liberated utopia of 2188. Two years later I sported “the future is female” on my bosom marching the streets with millions of women in 2017. Today I wear corsets and sheer tops to rebel against ageism.
My nostalgia watching Victoria’s angels flap revealed that part of me loved the sensual monuments of our current Western society’s mindset. Fessing up to adoring their gorgeous perfection, I understood the idea that we don’t own a “natural” body. Our bodies are cultural; always trying to mold themselves into the culture we live in. If you grew up with Barbie you probably followed in or fought her footsteps. You know how slowly mindsets have been changing, until now; 2021 is a year of cultural pivots.
As if foreseeing the big lingerie announcement, I moderated a room on Clubhouse on Monday with the topic “plunging necklines.” How do we feel about being sexy? Several women said that they enjoyed showing their curves in low cut dresses. We figured that’s okay as long as we’re not trying to manipulate or “catch” gullible men like our foremothers. We dress for ourselves, we agreed, to enjoy our mirror image. But whose norms evoke this joy? There’s no way around it, “sexy” is a male creation; we were fashioned by men’s desires for centuries. We came to the conclusion — for now — that it is difficult to discern where a woman’s self love ends and an internalized patriarchal demand begins. Programmed for so long, can we ever truly see ourselves with our own eyes? Do we need to move to an uninhabited island to know who we are without society and to finally own our bodies?
What is your sexy?
I call Victoria’s Secret’s announcement big because this is not just a financially suffering company switching their marketing; it’s a slap into the definition of hot and desirable. Victoria deleted cultural icons. The perfect angels are so yesterday. No woman wants to be outdated; we will never see ourselves the same in lingerie again.
I always loved my low cut bustier selfies as cute and also rebellious; a woman in midlife is supposed to be modest and invisible, an elegant whisper not a punky yell. The interesting part here is, what do others see? What do you feel when I say I am 60 and I’m sexy? What message do you hear when you see me dance in a courtesan corset? That my intention is to show a youthful and sexually inviting shape to “still” catch a guy’s eyes? Or do you interpret it as a form of coming out? It took decades for women to own sexual desires, which had been declared exclusively male. Only in recent years midlife women took a stand against society’s expectations of “old” and dropped fabric with a cause. Rebelling against the sexless senior stereotype is the higher calling for going Eve on Instagram.
Inner and outer censorship
To dig deeper into the topic I did a bra-less photo shoot in a white mesh crop top and white high waist pants. I felt no inhibitions at all. Posting it was different not because I am shy but I fear censorship. Nipples aren’t allowed on Instagram for example, but debatable under lace. My rational self decided that it is not worth the risk and erased the lightly visible offenders. Worse than AI watching is that anybody who feels annoyed can report us. Discussing censorship and defining morals might change the algorithms over time. Inner censorship is even more difficult to combat because we’re often not aware of all the voices in our heads that aren’t ours.
Whose voices do you hear when you look into the mirror in sexy lingerie or naked? Why do you hate or cherish particular body parts? And have you ever asked yourself how and who you would be if there were no mirrors?
Free the nipple.
Boob liberation has quite a history. Divine women, goddesses and ancient queens were portrayed with unquestioned bare breasts, the 14th century wanted them flaunted, the 15th century introduced decollete gowns and Pauline Bonaparte showed her fashionable small apple shaped boobies under sheer fabrics. The 19th century prudishness resulted in high neck tops and was fought around 1920 when frilly flappers let skin be part of the show. The 50s shaped breast into cone like bras and the 60s saw lingerie tossing protests, Madonna sold sexuality as rebellion and Miley Cyrus supported the “free the nipples” campaign with bare breasts on IG in 2014. ( flagged and quickly removed)
Yesterday - The measure of any society is how it dresses its women
Today - "The measure of any society is how a woman dresses herself."
The Enlightenment period in the early 18th century was a conscious historical shift in philosophy, art, science, and modern life styles. European intellectuals advanced education systems and propeled society forward into tolerance and liberty. Liberation in fashion was two-fold; a more decadent, theatrical style known today as costume clothing supported expressiveness and confidence. Women occupied space in tight corsets contrasting billowing full skirts. On the other end of the spectrum women demonstrated resistance by ridding themselves of corsets and demanding practical outfits that would not exemplify status or restrict movement. Physical freedom expanded the range of action and with that new experiences and knowledge.
Our style illustrates but also shapes consciousness; 2020'-2021 is a new enlightenment period. This time it’s people who demand and implement change. Street styles became like street art; messages of new perspectives and awareness. With the tool of our spending habits and the help of social media platforms we rewrite the traditional rule books of what beauty is and how fashion should be produced and presented. We imbued our styles with a new soul and spirit and created a soft revolution, the future is female might not be that far off anymore. Can we empower our lingerie? Or is it inherently sexist? How would feminist lingerie look like?
Fashion has always been political, used to manipulate our feelings, thoughts and needs, even our worldview. Designers and famous brands have accompanied and co-created repression for centuries and cemented inequality. But fashion, the stuff closest to our skin influencing our mood and attitude, can be a tool for liberation. Like always, change starts at home and with that in our own closet.
It’s not enough to support equality, inclusion or ethical production verbally or with trending hashtags. We dress it. We don’t drip in jewelry and show expensive designer robes hanging on Bentleys anymore. Styling our wealth and for status lifts us above others and makes them feel like the wall flowers of life. We support small business, sustainable not fast fashion. We buy ethical. We include our truth, feelings and insights not just prance our pretty. Not to ask where and how our clothes are made is a political decision, so is not questioning what we are supposed to wear. Our outfits are like political banners of the mindset we support.
When we consciously wear what we feel, outfits become communication; with ourselves and the world around us. Our personal styles illustrate how we are evolving. If sensual lingerie feels objectifying to you, resist it. To find out what you really feel and if you don’t have an uninhibited island handy, do outfit fasting. Wear the same body hiding overall for a week and then feel your wardrobe. What do you desire to wear? If you’ve ever fasted you know how offensive sugar feels the first time after.
Victoria’s angels are removed from marketing; do they still play havoc with your mind?
Let me know if and when you know your true sexy.
Side note: auto correct wants me to change Inclusivity to exclusivity.