No is a sentence. It has many levels, from fear based resistance against our true desires, to the rebel power of saying NO to society’s expectations and cliches of what a person should be. No is a shield, a bubble that imprisons or protects us, but can also be a sword that slays limitations. It is used against women to keep them in a role defined by society and it is a power we can use to break the spell.
No is a tool, a daily exercise.
Step 1 - Inventory
Where are our personal Nos, those that make us small, confined, stuck in a mindset of yesterday?
If you are lost or searching, hesitant and doubtful, or simply wondering if there is more to you or your life, the power of NO serves as an efficient training tool. It slays the safety of a mindset that kinda worked in the past. Any change can evoke worries. A new chapter can be downright scary because our pages are blank; what now?
Exercise 1
Who am I right now? What do I feel and think about my world and myself?
For one day observe and take notes of your negative thoughts and feelings, self deprecating smirks and the sarcastic or joking judgements of others that don’t sit right with you. When, where and how do you say no or accept a no to yourself? Where do you encounter the no of society to who you want to be?
What do others judge in you? Who says no to you? How does that make you feel?
Look at your notes at the end of the day.
Do you see can’t and won’t ? Hate this or that? Feel your brakes?
What and who triggers your resistance?
What do you judge in others? We often condemn what we fear in ourselves and consequently say no to. What does your judgment of others or situations have to do with our criticism or fear of ourselves?
Group your negative opinions and experiences. Can you find themes? Voices from the past that are repeated here? Which are limiting, even controlling you?
In the days following answer any “limiting” no you are aware of with - what would happen if I would say yes instead? What would I do? How would my life change?
NEXT: When we say No to something or somebody that plagued us it’s like a explosion of confidence.