There she goes again, showing her naked belly like a teen. Didn’t she learn to behave in over 60 years? Doesn’t she have any… what? Shame? Doubts? Maturity?
Shame reminds me of heavy childhood traumas, so no, don’t ask. I keep it under big blankets. Doubts? Got them since I hit 60. They need mending. Maturity? Oh yes, I’ve got it. I’m especially proud of it when walking in tall boots from Dolls Kill, serving those under 20. I’m trained to laugh and not to sweat it when I hold my belly in wearing a crop top.
The word mature, often euphemistically used to describe middle-aged women in all its demeaning negative undertones is in a reanimation phase of its true meaning. It was a compliment once like “on top of your class,” not associated with the bland taste of chewed out chewing gum. Mature is our wise, sagacious, discriminating, considerate and caring, deep and sophisticated power; evolved from the experiences we collected, the many schools we visited, companies, art and houses we built, children we raised, philosophies we dove into and therapies that challenged us.
Immature is inherent in mature; only when we are self aware and confident, can we use it as a tool — or toy.
Embodying “young”, a curious, fearless and expectation-free curiosity, fills me with joy. My initial motivation to play like a kid and be loud like a teenager was anger; the sign up for AARP and pre-order forms for my gravestone in the mail box sparked the Ageless Rebellion movement. That society expects seniors to retire into irrelevance made me furious. Watching lonely humans at the windows of a senior living facility close to my LA home, caused somber shivers.
I squeezed myself into a plastic fantastic mini dress to rebel against the cage of midlife. In my three year journey to a new identity I tried many other attitudes and styles but the teenager in me always popped in. Each time she showed up in Instagram pictures, I felt like apologizing. When I dwarfed myself into a more mature, grown up attitude my energy vanished into a gigantic sigh; compromising can drag us down to blah. “Just do you,” people said. But will you like me then?
Does the person you show to others make you happy?
What I’ve learned in hands-on experiments and studying fashion psychology is that style is a feeling; when it aligns with who we are, it’s wake up music. We look into the mirror or our social media presentations and recognize ourselves. Dressing and behaving young doesn’t mean we’re “desperately trying” to be perceived as 21. It means that we know that all our ages live within us and we can be — whenever. Being silly, loud, theatrical and “too much” is born from a new confidence of being just right the way we are. Conscious immaturity disrupts outmoded expectations.
Dressing like a doll in midlife was liberating to me on a journey to balance playful theatrics and deep philosophies; I call it a lifestyle of edgy elegance.
What will be your accomplice in being rebelliously “mature?”
Outside of our mold wait answers we rarely even know to ask for.
The difference between a crop top on immaculate skin and the same on advanced age bodies is our why, our awareness. What we wore with 21 because it was trendy and everybody else wore it, is now a conscious decision. We pull tight jeans over our aching hips with a cause of empowerment and because many women our age are afraid to. Every piece of clothing contains history, personal stories and a brand’s philosophy. We chose and imbue with power what matches our message. One of my passions is longevity expressed in sustainable fabrics. I upcycle my life experiences to new insights like I deconstruct and innovative yesterday’s outfits in my styling studio. As insight so outside.
Old is celebratory.
Our new mature means intense flavors, juicy wisdom and tasty bites of futurist visions. Because we understand the past, we can predict and influence the future. Remember that ripe peach making your hands sticky, soiling your blouse while caressing your taste buds like a revelation? No matter if we’re showing wrinkles or not, maturity is a fantastic, unapologetic peak; allow your wisdom to drip all over the place.
Where is our maturity? It’s the new hype, the place everybody wants to be.
