Deciding what we want and who we truly are is the key to our future. But how to discover and decide what it is?
If you are lost or searching, hesitant and doubtful, or simply wondering if there is more to you or your life, the power of NO serves as an efficient tool. Scientists fail a hundred times but, splattered with “nope, doesn’t work,” they finally get their Yes. Maybe even a Pullitzer or a Nobel. No can be a good thing but it’s not always easy to make it so.
NO to the old and outmoded, to the safety of a mindset that kinda worked in the past, is uncomfortable. Any change can evoke worries. A new chapters can be downright scary because our pages are blank; what now?
Curiosity will free the cat. What holds you back?
What do you need to prepare, arrange and pack for the adventure to yourself?
Step 1
Who am I right now?
What do you feel and think about yourself?
The nag and drag part of your life.
Exercise 1
For one day observe and make notes of your repeated negative thoughts and feelings about looks, age related behavior and any general judgments about different age groups. (silly teenagers, stupid old person, ugly this, ugly that)
Look at it at the end of the day.
What and who triggers your emotions?
What do you judge in others?
What does your judgment of others or situations have to do with your criticism of yourself?
When do you feel insecure, weak and judge your own looks or behaviors?
Can you group your thoughts and negative opinions?
Can you find themes?
Which of those are truly yours or other people’s opinions about what your life and your beauty is?
1. What do I dislike about my my health, looks, age ?
2. Which of these thoughts and judgments are hindering me? Even controlling my actions?
3. What would happen if you did not have these thoughts and limitations? What would you do? How would your life change?
Make a list of the negatives and write their opposites down. How does this feel?
When you look into the mirror, what are your spontaneous thoughts?
Exercise 2
For one day focus on everything and anything beautiful around you and see at least a glimpse of beautiful in every person. Feel magic, find like-minded people, open up for synchronicities.
Compliment people. Acknowledge their efforts to be seen and appreciated. Look at them and think, “I see you. I appreciate you.”
What you give to the world reflects back on you. Act the way you would love others to treat you. Against all odds.
Create a shield around you and ignore the crap. When it happens in your mind or in real life, stop, breathe deeply and let it go. You hurt but everybody else also hurts. Don’t react like always.
Don’t let anything or anybody kick you out of your beautiful mojo.
This is your day.
This is your day where beauty rules.
Look at your experiences, thoughts and feelings at the end of the day.
1. What do I love about life?
2. What do I appreciate in other people?
3. How does it feel to look at others and life in a loving way?
4. Do I have unexplored talents and desires?
5. What was a compliment that made me smile?
6. What do I love about myself? Physically, mentally, spiritually and on a soul level?
When you look in the mirror now, look into your eyes and feel the love you have for one or all of these things or your list.
There will always be something on the physical level that’s not perfect no matter how skinny you are, how much Botox you use or how tonedyou body has become. True self-love on a soul level, the honest adoration of your essence gives you a confidence that’s so much deeper than looks can provide , no matter how cute you can style yourself.
Exercise 3
Make room for beauty.
You can’t grow if there’s no space to.
Seriously.
Unclutter. To support your efforts consciously eradicate any dislikes look around you.
Go through and throw away those piles of unread mail, toss, sell or gift clothes and stuff you don’t like or need anymore, clean up confusing mess in drawers or corners.
Space and clarity is a beautiful thing to have.
What else is toxic and hinders you to grow? Lipsticks containing lead, cosmetics with harmful ingredients, food with pesticides, sugary drinks… Detect and remove.
Dare to do the same with people.
Make space and time for your self
Exercise 4
In one of the beautiful spaces, or even the one and only you created, enjoy your pretty planner; your space, your time, your serenity.
Here’s where your journal patiently awaits your thoughts and feelings.
Who do I want to be in a year from now?
Who do you want to be in 50 years from now?
Close your eyes and see yourself in a location you adore; on the beach, in a castle, in a spaceship… See yourself; you look and feel the best you can possibly imagine.
Be detailed.
Entice your imagination. Invite your inner child who holds your dreams and powers, who still knows and feels your essence, to play.
In a playful state without mental restrictions feel out a mind map or draw a mandala of your life and yourself in the future, create a collage with clippings from magazines or make a clay sculpture, meditate over a sand drawing. compose a song – the important is that your FEEL your vision.
Mean it.
Now that you have your amazing self clearly in your mind, set your beauty and health destination, equip and arm yourself for the journey.