“Are we there yet?”
Nikita, my Tibetan Terrier sulked in the corner of the dressing room.
“Nope, not there yet.”
My dog, always putting her nose into open doors had pulled me into a second hand clothing store. I slipped into the next outfit I had grabbed from a surprising diversity of contemporary designer and mainstream clothes displayed in a huge loft like space. There was nobody over 30 in this millennial temple of creative styling but my excitement wiped away the worry that my wrinkles would clash. Nikita told me to stop bitching about being invisible.
I stared at myself in a plastic fantastic faux snake mini dress. It was tight, strapless and a tad, gosh - slutty.
I could never… Maybe I should. This was naughty.
“Over 60 is sexy,” said the snake dress and became one of my first fashion pictures on social media three years ago.
“You’re desperately trying to look like 21,” complained a woman in a styling group.
“Yes.”
I laughed. I didn’t feel desperate; I finally felt empowered.
I deserved to look hot after two decades of casual mom jeans and a corporate job with dull sexless business uniforms. My outfit explorations revived my curious twenty something writer self. She drove to her journalist stories in a purple convertible and cowgirl boots, real snake at that time. Mini skirts, body suits, plunging necklines and funky faux everything became my rebel tools against “old.” Stilettos, flats and sneakers stirred up new feelings when writing my memoir in LA coffee shops.
Stepping into the shoes of other women, literally and psychologically reveals our judgments, fears and desires. How do we relate to the yuppie, diva or kitty cat, the tomboy, super girly or punk and rockn’ roll chick? Feeling them on our skin helps to understand other women; underneath our fashionable facades our desires are not that different.
How often did we hear midlife women exclaim when facing wrinkles in the mirror, “this is not me?” Reinvention calls us in times of challenges like “old age”, illness, loss of jobs, safety, loved ones or the loss of self in society’s demands. It’s a fight or flight situation where we hold on to the past or jump into something brave and new. The worldwide challenge of the pandemic nailed our doors shut and made us “sit in it.” What went wrong, globally and personally? What did we do and especially what or who did we not listen to?
We’re not reinventing the wheel because the wheel, you and me, is already there, it might just be hidden under decades of clutter. Michelangelo said that the art already is in the granite, he just chiseled it free. Reinvention means to recover lost dreams and hidden knowing; the blue print of our very own passion and purpose. Our styling is our art.
Fashion is often ignored or obsessively adapted, sometimes despised as manipulating or happily played with. Its power as a tool for conscious living though is mostly overlooked. Fashion awareness can be life changing; when we discover and wear our truth and intentions on our sleeves we connect to likeminded people who help us to reach our goals.
Seven steps to get more clarity if you like to play wardrobe adventures
1. Colors have power. Wear a white outfit, the vibe of clarity and new beginnings.
2. Look at your clothes like a casting director; who is the person who would wear your outfits? What are the stories, mandates, memories; your mindset behind it?
3. Is that really you?
4. Make a list of what you don’t have and desire. What’s the reason you don’t own the style you adore on others? Because….? Who’s voices do you hear?
5. If your walk-in closet overflows, what stories does it tell?
6. Who would you be - and wear - if you forgot everything you thought you knew?
7. Choose a challenge outfit; wear it at home and dare it in the world. How does it feel? Example: I sent a casual comfort clothes wearing client a silver, faux leather pencil skirt, size twelve. She braved it. Taking pictures at the ruins of an old castle she felt her strong woman warrior power and even stories of her ancient lineage came up.
I recently let my eyes wander over forms and colors in my styling studio containing my fashion past, the good, bad, adored or blah. Like emerging from a guided outfit meditation I found myself in a soft, pastel and feather light style.
“I love you,” said the little princess I never wanted to be. The rebel I had revived against ageism helped me to find my feminine essence in a fantastic journey of two years.
They’re my sidekicks for my next reinvention.
Outfits talk when we listen.
Not thinking about our clothes but dressing our feelings gives us the authenticity everybody loves.