Your Fashion Spirit Animal

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“You aren’t really wild, mom,” said my teenage son a decade ago. I think he meant it as a compliment.

I always wanted to be wild. My little girl dreamed of being Tiger Lily, my teenager wanted to be a freedom seeking Native American girl on her black mustang and my grown up adored “Women who run with wolves.” I had my wilder moments touching punk and hippie spirit, throwing diva tantrums or feeling my lower chakras when swinging my hips at Afro Haitian dance in Santa Fe. I had my fierce elbow fights to success. But I never was truly a wild woman. I rebelled but wasn’t free; the inhibitions of the “good girl” were strong.

I loved the book “Women who run with wolves,” which appeared in my life again, one day before “my” coyote, who strolled through the neighborhood for a decade now, stopped at my door and looked at me. It’s time to step it up.

I chose a designer’s leopard suit to foreshadow my path into the fierce and fearless me.

Outfits are the best affirmations; tangible and with us all day.

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A spirit animal is described as a teacher or messenger that comes in the form of an animal. Other names might be animal guides, spirit helpers, spirit allies, power animals, or animal helpers. Shamans tell us that the animal chooses us. It might already be present in your life and like me you recently you just need to open your eyes to discover it. In the “normalcy” of life we often don’t see the “more.” Our spirit animals provide “medicine” by evoking emotions and thoughts. It guides or protects, teaches or awakens.

The symbolism of spirit animals is an amazing language to learn and has been practiced for thousands of years.

Invite your spirit animal

Everything is mindset; when we open up to the magic of archetypes and stories and declare our openness magic is invited to happen. You can use your thoughts, words, song, your tarot cards, an altar, the fire of candles or the smoke of sage. No matter how small or elaborate, it’s the energy of your invite that counts, your willingness to be touched by magical realms.

1. Were their animals in your life at certain periods or crossroads you might or might have opened up to?

2. Was there an animal lately that got your attention? Either in real life, dreams, meditation or via a digital attraction?

3. What do you feel looking at the animal? What is its story? What are its qualities and traits? Its social behavior and status? Its loves and hates?

4. Is there a message you see? An emotion to be resolved, a task pointed to? Work to be completed?

5. What does the animal have to do with you; what does it symbolize that is important at this moment of your journey?

6. Is there an animal in your life showing up and fascinating you in any way more often?

7. Is there an animal that resonated with you since childhood?

8. Are there animals you feel drawn to without any logical explanation?

9. Do you have a birth animal in you zodiac signs?

If you have never encountered your spirit animal and would like to meet it, ask it to show itself.

“Liquid Death” says the tin of spring water. I don’t quite get this marketing but for me it means I flush down my fears out of my body with pure water, showers or a swim in ocean waves can do the same trick.

“Liquid Death” says the tin of spring water. I don’t quite get this marketing but for me it means I flush down my fears out of my body with pure water, showers or a swim in ocean waves can do the same trick.

When I was angry on in a dark day of my soul, a hummingbird in the garden touched my hair. It was like a glitch in the matrix; I stopped, I was present in the moment and my anger was washed away.

And she came back yesterday in a very different form. Her name is Barbie Holmes.

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Hummingbird

A friend of mine had overheard two women talking about me and interpreted it as a mean remark about my “demanding presence.” I told Barbie that I felt sad about it.

“You exude personal power, self-confidence, and dignity in your independence,” she said, “like the leopard you’re wearing.” She transformed the women’s remark into the best possible. Her spirit animal is a hummingbird.

The hummingbird has deep mystical meanings but what it symbolized in my friend is its ability to open the heart; its feathers flutter for love and joy. It transforms pain into independent thinking; refraining from creating new trauma by communicating new view points to old stories. My friend Barbie sees the beauty in people through hummingbird’s eyes.

Leopard Spirit Animal Meanings

Leopard symbolism is about having confidence in your life journey. The road may be rough and the climb may be more challenging than you thought, but trust in your abilities that you can conquer them all. Leopard symbolizes the beauty and boldness which you possess that will attract the energies that you need. The universe will help you achieve what you desire, but you should also use your gifts to make them possible.

Your leopard totem wants you to remember that what doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger. There is always light at the end of the tunnel, and you can experience a wonderful rebirth after a period of struggles and pains.

The leopard meaning urges you to accept and embrace your flaws and weaknesses to discover your own strengths. Stop hiding behind what you think are your shortcomings and imperfections because you have the power to accomplish all the things that you dream of. “

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When your wear Leo print remember to also use its power.

Leopard mantras

  • to own our personal power and step into true confidence.

  • imitate the movements of the leopard; leap over challenges and obstacles with grace and efficiency

  • dance to your own rhythm and learn how to negotiate our environment.

  • find the right path and believe that we will be successful

  • Be patient and persistent about your desires because this is the leopard meaning that you should never ignore.

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Wear your animal spirit.

Change the world with what you wear, it's the girly thing to do.

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Wearing our truth is contagious. We can change the world simply by embodying the truth within us and expressing it.

Wearing our soul on our sleeves is a simple act. Getting to the real real of ourselves though often is a journey that requires time, bravery and passionate curiosity. Our truth is like a fickle teenager, always resisting or hiding out.

We can achieve clarity with life coaches and thousands of rather amazing programs. We can also DIY the first steps and dig into our wardrobes - who’s the person wearing those outfits? Is this really me? - as well as looking closer into those seemingly unreachable fashion desires. Why would celebrity style be too sexy, sensual, funky, wild or crazy for us? Why can’t we be grand and loud like our inner child and trust that we actually have something to show and tell?

On the journey to dress up our truth we become Samurais against our limiting beliefs and Ninjas avoiding the easy fall into self criticism - I’m too old, too fat, too clumsy for this - or sarcastic self deprivation - look at grandma trying to be 21 - Wearing a mini skirt at 60 can be a personal revolution - and changes how the world views women “of a certain age.”

“Judge a woman by her outfit” can be a powerful thing.

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One of the fun and simple baby steps to bravery and before we find the colors and forms that make our soul waltz or hip hop, are statement outfits. Messages are worn on tees, jackets, coats and extravagant designers gowns. Most of them make strong points, they warn, demand or make sarcastic fun of. Others describe intentions that unite people in a goal. Slogans, quotes, mantras and power words became part of street wear as much as of luxurious rebeldom.

We usually embody our truth in action and attitude. When we wear a quote, question or demand, we voice our individual opinion but also join forces with others. Our tee shirt becomes the flag we swing and possibly the ticket to a new tribe. What we contribute to this world energetically will create change but at the rate the world is falling apart we might be too slow. The hope is that those unified by slogans become brave enough to act The first step could be to resist old habits like our limiting thoughts; buying fast fashion and eating fast food. Quality over convenience…

I created Ageless Rebel Reinvention tank tops as a reminder that the pandemic asks to look closer at what we thought was normal or took for granted. Rebel is a metaphor for change. Ageless means our essence behind our persona, which was mostly created by our upbringing and society. Ageless means to fearlessly kick the ego aside and go for our very own truth.

It is always in times of a personal or, like now in a worldwide challenge, that we feel the desire to reinvent ourselves; to rediscover the initial spark. Ageless Rebel Reinvention is a shout out, it’s time to revive the best in us. We demand to know our true purpose and embody it with all we’ve got. It’s up to us if our world survives.

When we walk in our blue boots of truth and our soul aligns with our persona the Universe will have our back. So they say and so we learn to trust.

Ageless Rebel Reinvention means something very unique for everybody.

What can your passion and purpose contribute to a healthier world? Can we together reinvent the human race?

Wear it to power up your inner girl

Wear it to power up your inner girl

Or to support your sporty spice

Or to support your sporty spice

Or let your jeans rebel with it

Or let your jeans rebel with it

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Diamonds and pearls, how to let your outfits tell you who you are.

If I gave you diamonds and pearls
Would you be a happy boy or a girl
If I could I would give you the world
But all I can do is just offer you my love…

I balanced on the balcony on a beautifully carved white chair battered by weather and squirrels finding its upholstery perfect for their nests. The Instagram challenge of “Diamonds and Pearls” by Prince caused a mini explosion; I clowned around, happy not to think about viruses, conspiracies or people dying. 

I’m not a diamond girl, I never even had a diamond engagement ring. I don’t own any expensive pearls either. This was so not me. That’s why it was so much fun. 

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My inner wardrobe stylist makes me do the weirdest things, she spins outfit ideas into mini revelations. Diamond and pearls grew into a styling story with four acts, body, soul, mind and spirit.

How to make more out of your outfits and let them tell you about yourself? 
Start innocently; no thoughts, no judgments, curious and open. Let your style guide you.

Act 1 Body - a spontaneous reaction of physical joy

Play.

Diamonds and pearls? Me? I’m in for a quick laugh. I fooled around in a boss chick suit jacket on naked skin adorned with pearls. Look at me, I’m not taking this seriously. This is the comeback of my giggle after deep, dark pandemic pondering for weeks.

Act 2 Soul - heart-opening feelings 

Feel.

Me, me, me, chose me. A snake print romper, which I got a week before quarantine, called, pleeease, choose me. My clothes are like kids sometimes, old souls who know what I need.  The pearls on my red romper clacked softly yet royally fierce. My pink transparency booties said, Go for it!

Carefully on my high heels I climbed up the stairs to the balcony, a wooden piece of street art under one arm, my tripod under the other. The plan; to reminisce the streets of LA I love so much, the alleyways with underground art, the beauty of decay, the messages of rebellious artists…. my former fashion life on tangible streets.

I stretched my legs and tested if the metal frame of the balcony would hold me. I didn’t intellectualize what I did or how it looked. When we forget everything we know and feel our body in textures, forms and colors they pull us into the magic of now. That’s where the stories live. I forgot about the street art. This was about something else.

Giving up on “normal” and opening up to “weird,” defined as supernatural and uncanny, we discover our more.

I do my styling and photo shoots like I live my live; curious and with suspension of disbelief. When I watch a movie, I stuff cinematic knowledge under the sofa. If I decide on a TV show I let myself fall into it. Actors not in tune with their role will ruin it for me, so I am always right there with the outfit. Diamond and pearls… Grace Kelly, Marilyn, Madonna and Doll Theresa joined me.

- Girls just want to have fun - Cyndi Lauper flew in. 

I come home in the morning light
My mother says, “When you gonna live your life right?”
Oh mother dear we’re not the fortunate ones
And girls, they wanna have fun…

I happily engaged in what I, a head case, had judged for decades; simple “brainless” girly fun and “vain“ women dripping with jewelry. Swirling pearls, I admitted I love superficial fun. I love to be a girl jumping up and down with excitement. I sparkle like a diamond when in women’s groups, girlfriends weren’t allowed; I didn’t have one until I free’d myself from my mother’s fears in college. Fashion connected me, styling outfits made me relatable. Allowing myself to present all shades of my contradictory, as much pink as punk self, I met smart, passionate, rebellious, open minded fashionistas for whom styling is their art and empowerment. “Your vibe attracts your tribe.” So true. We transform outfits into tools, rise from slaves of trends to creatresses.

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Judgment flew in.

Nobody ever gave you a diamond ring. You’re not valuated as a woman

Some boys take a beautiful girl
And hide her away from the rest of the world
I want to be the one to walk in the sun
Oh girls just wanna have fun.

Would a diamond ring have made me happy? Did I miss out that nobody went to Jared for me?

The obsession with “walking in the sun,” with my independence, had structured my life for decades. I would have laughed or slapped a man for daring to propose to me. 

“I donated my engagement ring to a home shelter after my nasty divorce,” a friend answered my pondering. 

No, I don’t miss marriage or a diamond to prove love. I looked at the crystal brooch holding one of my pearl strands. The Los Angeles sun let its little laser beams hit my heart; it hurt. I had missed out on my dream; the all consuming, passionate, eternal love story. My desire for independence had been my emotional prison.

Act 3 Mind -  the intellectual dig into the story of stuff 

Think.

Diamonds and pearls are Earth gifts to us, but their values are man made. Their given value created a history of greed, exploitation, pain and blood shed. 

My former wedding business website offered artificial diamonds and ethical gemstone alternatives. It was the time of Brad Pitt starring in Blood Diamond. After watching the horrors of the diamond trade, brides were more open to change from the traditional diamond to a new option.  Instead of supporting a gruesome industry, some reused old family jewelry to design uniquely personal rings and wear their family tradition on their finger. 

Pearls do not begin their journey beautifully either. An irritant enters an oyster and causes it pain and discomfort. The oyster coats it again and again with layers of nacre and, eventually, a pearl is formed.

The analogy to how we humans deal with our pain is amazing; we put more and more coating on it not to feel it. Our longing to free ourselves from the pain grows exponentially and will explode one day; we wake up,  transform it to awareness, let it go and change our lives. Or, if we don’t, it materializes in an accident, illness, disease or other type of painful misfortune. Worldwide it manifested in Covid19.

As below so above, as inside so outside; our planet just dealt with us, its pain, in a raging illness, coughing us out, firing us up with fever to get rid of our oblivion.

Open your eyes. Discover what’s hiding in your pearls.

Act 4 Spirit - The magical aura of physical creations 

Dream.

“They came to another grove of trees, where all the leaves were of gold; and afterwards to a third, where the leaves were all glittering diamonds. And the soldier broke a branch from each; and every time there was a loud noise, which made the youngest sister tremble with fear. But the eldest still said it was only the princes who were crying for joy…”

The “12 dancing princesses” was one of Grimm’s tales, capturing my imagination as a child; I was the youngest of the princesses, feeling that there was something wrong with our “normal.” Nobody believed me. I broke off a branch of diamonds to guide me through my life. Never forget your magic, little one.

Diamonds were named “adamas” by Ancient Greeks, which means invincible, indestructible. If they are properly faceted, they will sparkle in multi-colored rays of light. Some spiritual theories claim diamonds and crystals are storage devices of the universe’s wisdom, holding our stories in the spectrum of their light. Forever. The diamond also symbolizes purity and innocence, perfection, invincibility, force and authority. Cultures of the East found it protected and strengthened the heart, purifies the kidneys and improves eyesight, providing 2020 vision. 

Diamonds and pearls asked me to wear a fiery red snake romper, shedding old judgments like a snake, the symbol for eternity and ageless magic.

The diamond I had disregarded as an old mindset symbol of women’s bondage had changed its colors. I saw it as the alchemical ingredient I was missing; an amulet against fear and evoking clarity in our global pandemic. I looked for the diamond ring I had bought myself a long time ago to reward me for a successful business. Out of my little safe it’s on my left hand’s middle finger. 

Symbolism, analogies and metaphors can make us see a different picture of the same old.

The desire to adorn ourselves is ancient; our question of why we are doing it as enlightened beings is the measuring stick gifting us with new insights. Our new ethical How is our gift back to the planet.

Reinvention in quarantine times feels like heavy rain washing away our sugar crust and letting us discover the sculpture underneath.

Reinvention in quarantine times feels like heavy rain washing away our sugar crust and letting us discover the sculpture underneath.

Infuse new luster into jewels with gratefulness. 

Play. Explore. It’s story time. 

  • Wear your most expensive jewelry on your kitchen apron or pajama.

  • Go into your wardrobe without thinking about what to wear, put jewelry onto your naked skin.

  • Feel the gold, silver and precious stones, their forms and colors.

  • Do the fake and the real feel different?

  • Start with one piece that attracts you most and let it tell you what it wants to be accompanied with.

  • Does it make you dance, march after your own beat, giggle, stir up marvelous or uncomfortable memories?

  • Do diamonds and pearls make you a happy boy or girl?

Listen to your inner stories.

Sign up and/or email me if you would like to explore with us in a dress up party online.

Earth Day is on Tuesday, April 22, let’s give her the birthday she deserves; wear your diamond of clarity and pledge three Earth loving changes. 

 

Fear and loathing on the way to the enlightening power of White.

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White says cleanliness, innocence and purity to most of us as demonstrated by the Catholic tradition of the white wedding and communion dresses.

For quite some time I did not fancy wearing white ; it was too nice and proper for me.

In the 18th century though, when Marie Antoinette quite rebelliously wore a ruffled whitish cotton robe, loose, billowing and with minimla jwelry she caused as scandal as she was seen as essentially in her underwear. Royals wore silky sensual pomp not seriously proletarian cotton.

The first moment that some iteration of the white shirt found itself in the spotlight in women’s fashion was back in the 18th century, when Marie Antoinette wore a ruffled cotton robe de gaulle in a 1783 portrait, causing something of a scandal at the time.

The portrait, painted by Madame Vigée-Lebrun, depicted the royal in a loose, billowing white blouse dress with minimal jewellery – a far more toned-down and relaxed ensemble than were usually seen in the portraits of her day. The queen’s decision to pose in what was essentially her underwear caused uproar, as did the fact that she was wearing cotton, a relatively inexpensive material compared with the finest silks thought to be more befitting of a royal.

White has been a powerful symbol throughout history, with different cultures assigning different meanings to the colour. In some cultures, white is associated with spiritual enlightenment, while in others it is associated with purity and innocence. In both Eastern and Western cultures, white has long been used in art, literature, and religious ceremonies to express deep spiritual messages.

Throughout art movements in time, white has been used to convey a range of emotions and ideas. In some cases, it is used to represent peace or a calm state of mind. In others, it is used to portray feelings of loneliness, emptiness, and despair. In this article, we will explore the mystical meaning of white and how it varies across cultures.

Victoria was not the first to wear a white dress on her wedding day, nor was she even the first royal woman (Mary, Queen of Scots wore white on her wedding day in 1558), but she certainly was the most influential. White wedding dresses quickly became the norm, not the exception, following Victoria's nuptials

The color white has a number of meanings and associations, although these may vary depending on the individual and the culture in which they live. Some of the main associations often connected to the color white include purity, innocence, cleanliness, blankness, coldness, emptiness, simplicity, and minimalism.

In ancient religions, white was often seen as a colour of purity and holiness. In Christianity, it is often used to symbolize the Virgin Mary, the Immaculate Conception, and the resurrection. White was also used in Hinduism to represent divine truth and peace. In Buddhism, white is seen as a representation of enlightenment and the attainment of Nirvana.

The symbolism of white goes beyond just religious significance. Ancient mythology also held a special place for white. In Greek mythology, white was associated with healing, protection, and fertility. In Norse mythology, white was seen as a symbol of prosperity, luck, and victory.

Historically, white has also been a symbol of power and authority. In some cultures, it was the colour of kings and nobles. This symbolism is still alive today, especially in Western cultures where white is often seen as a sign of elegance and prestige.

Additionally, white has also been used to signify hope and new beginnings. Many ancient cultures believed that white represented a fresh start, the potential of a new life, and the promise of brighter days ahead.

The use of white in ancient civilizations holds many mysteries and meanings. Whether it is seen as a symbol of purity, power, or hope, there is no denying that white has been an important part of many cultures throughout history.

white environments are often used in interior design to create a feeling of peace and tranquillity in a room. Additionally, white is a popular neutral hue in fashion because it allows people to express themselves without making a strong statement. As a colour that can be painted with imagination and potential, it is often used to signify new beginnings and fresh starts. It is frequently used in photography and cinema because it can evoke feelings of nostalgia and tranquill

white materials are especially effective at absorbing visible light, a key component of photocatalysis.

The Role of Colour Psychology in Interpreting White

Colour psychology plays a major role in how people interpret the colour white. Understanding how our minds process colour and the psychological implications of white can vary depending on the context. It can evoke feelings of serenity and calmness, but it can also create feelings of emptiness and isolation. The colour white can also be used to create an atmosphere of optimism and potential. On the other hand, as an environment associated with cleanliness and sterility to communicate safety.

Colour as Light

A colour is defined by a physicist as a specific wavelength of light, and the colour of an object is determined by how it reflects and absorbs light.

White is a bright and brilliant hue to the human eye that can cause headaches; for example, when skiing or snowboarding, snow can become blinding. This is because, in comparison to other colours’ wavelengths, white reflects and cannot absorb light.

During the Renaissance period between the 16th and 18th centuries, both men and women wore a variety of products, such as creams to bleach their skin and white paint or powder all over their faces, such as Venetian ceruse, also known as “blanc de ceruse de Venise” and “spirits of Saturn.”

This artificial fairness was considered a sign of wealth, intelligence, and power, since those who wore it did not have to work in the fields and get sunburned, thus avoiding imperfections and maintaining their social status. Ironically, cosmetic products during this period were highly dangerous due to the presence of lead, and in many cases led to premature deaths. Exposure to lead, whether through dust or absorption through the skin, can damage the brain and nervous system, and slow growth and development in children.

Three petticoats made the skirt of my white lacy dress stand up impressively. My mom was happy; her little girl was seen; I stood out. Matched by my fluffed up, curled Shirley Temple hairdo held by a white bow I was a princess flower girl and so much more stylish than the other, sad looking girl. I felt silly and proud, embarrassed and cute. I made sure my white socks stayed white this time, behaving perfectly well mannered like in a good-housekeeping book. I tried hard to be the girl my mother envisioned after I had failed to be the boy my dad had wanted. I had been a brave 5-story-high walls climbing kid playing trucker and race car driver with my doll’s stroller but whatever made a boy a cool dude made me the uncontrollable misfit girl. The impeccable proper of white would show that I can be the little angel my name demanded.

“You walk like a wood cutter,” my mom commented on my perfect flower girl style. “You’re just missing a tool box.”

I smiled harder.

For my 12th birthday dress up party my mom’s silver sequin jacket added the royal touch to the long white silky night gown she let me borrow, held by her silver belt. I was mesmerized by my mom’s wardrobe especially her bottle green Taffeta dress with black netting overlay and black velvet neckline. It rustled so mysteriously. The kids in school had mocked me; my mom always wore pretty dresses and lipstick. Their mom’s wore aprons.

I was the reluctant white princess of my birthday theater wondering why wearing a tiara was supposed to be an honor. One of the girls, dressed as Prince Charming, kissed my hand. I blushed, giggled and took my hand back quickly; I didn’t like to be touched. I took the jacket off, slipped out of the gown and focused on the toy cars my one boy visitor had brought. He was a nerd with glasses and Bavarian “Lederhosen”, he didn’t count as a real boy.

“You have no diplomatic bone in your body,” exclaimed my mom later, ”you’ll never be a woman.”

I always felt the the pebble in her shoe.

If I was not allowed to rebel against my female fate I would fulfill it with grandezza; I’ll show you, mom. I’ll be the best wifey material ever. But as you will never take the rebel out of my princess I ‘ll also get my revenge for the jail you put me in.

I screwed with the heads of my parents male friends, husbands like my dad who didn’t care about my truth either. Their buddies had no chance not to be painfully aware of me, I made them tremble with desire in their polyester socks. I had no intellectual awareness of what I was doing but the revenge of being a tease filled me with confidence and joy. I had a dark little secret my mom couldn’t take away.

On a mild Sunday morning in May I flaunted my 16 year young untouched virginity in a white two piece suit; a vest and pencil pants adorned with a thin golden necklace and matching bracelet flaneusing our small town’s promenade. The sun was out in gray, rainy Germany and people looked much more relaxed than usually enjoying their umbrella free strolls.

Happy with my halo I sometimes took care of a three-year-old kid, the out of wedlock daughter of my sinful cousin, condemned as the family “whore.” With Katie on my hand I was hoping to be seen, maybe even discovered; my photos plastered the local photography studio, owned by a woman who liked me and had even created my modeling set card for free. The rumor was that she wanted me to date her glasses and suspenders wearing math genius son. She couldn’t possible think… ? Naaa. I negated it as small town gossip.

Mirror obsessed since a kid checked up on my self in every shiny surface. Am I really here?

“Look Katie, aren’t we pretty?”

She wore a short white dress and fit perfectly to my suit, which was sassy in its tameness. I was vain like my mom and put a lot of effort into forgetting about my shortcomings. I made up for them with my vivid sense of style which I had inherited from my dad’s mom, grandma Maria, an elegant Catholic lady with butt long white hair who I adored. She let me comb her beautiful wavy mane and revel in the magic of her vintage velvets and silks, her lace gowns and fur coats. Her musty smelling crocodile leather handbag held love letters, postcards and photographs from her past; she was my romantic royalty and her unconditional love for me kept me sane.

I saw the red convertible in the mirror; so rebelliously attractive. Look at me, you two wild guys!

“Hi pretty lady,” one the guys called out,” is this your daughter?”

I smirked, shaking my head. “No.”

 “These men are silly,” I told the kid,” they can’t see that I’m sixteen.”

Luckily. They looked like students, I wanted to be important and being accepted by students was the way to achieve that. When they stopped at the red light it felt like my opportunity, they were the 68’ revolution I had not been allowed to take part in.  When I had danced with Mick Jagger in front of our black and white TV my dad called me spastic and him a monkey.

“Turn this weirdo off”.

I did but freedom was in the air in the 70’s and I couldn’t help breathing it. It wasn’t my fault, it was right there!! The two young men in the sexy car were right there. They looked like the morning after a party, unshaven, messed up hair and dark sunglasses. So inviting.

“You look gorgeous,” the driver said.

“Very pretty.” The other guy chimed it.

I liked the driver; he seemed taller and more elegant with a stylish red shirt matching the car. My dad didn’t have a driver’s license and we were traveling everywhere on bicycles, trams or trains. A convertible spoke of luxury, fun and freedom; they got an easy 10 for that. When I was on my own I usually brought my notebook with me on my walks; I listed how many whistles and compliments I got and taxed my admirers on a scale from 1-10 for looks, style and originality. The hot driver got a ten, the other guy? A 7 minus.

Green light. The duo waved and drove off.

To make the story short, I dated one of the two students, the 7 minus. My mom did not let me date teenage boys and my heartbreak caused by her mandate to “never see this silly drummer boy” ever again was still fresh; I had been so in love with him. He sang “wild thing” to me when we were dancing to the Troggs in a barn, it was the day I tasted my first coke and my first very shy kiss.

Mom loved the idea of the student guy.

“How charming,” she said,” he is seven years older, the same age difference as your dad and me. He will make a proper woman out of you.”

The man who had the same name as my father served my vanity, my body and my curiosity. I did not love him, I did not fancy him. I even cried when he shaved his beard off because I found him so ugly. But he had to be it. The Damocles sword of intercourse had hit me. My upbringing said that I had to marry the first man I had sex with; number 7 minus became my chastity belt.

Good-bye, handsome piano player. The dream to ever catch his friend’s attention was dead; I had to get engaged to my boyfriend instead. It felt like a funeral.

There was no “I love you forever”, falling on his knees, nothing, just a ring that appeared to seal that I was officially owned now. I kept the engagement a secret; I was still in my all girl high school and none of my classmates had long-term boyfriends, not to talk about being engaged. I was ashamed and tickled at the same time.  The ring proved my value, I had no girl friends but I had a guy who wanted to marry me. I wore it sometimes for them to wonder. Nobody cared about my attempt to be a rebel with a ring; this bizarre “secret” made me, the weird math loving smart ass, even weirder; in a time of communes and free love I got engaged.

It was a rebellion in the wrong direction; I was going backwards.

Very backwards.

I overheard my fiance telling my mother that he wanted me to finish school; Germany gives you a Baccalaureat after 13 years. But that would be it. That would qualify me “to entertain his business guests in the future.”

I had always been sexually reluctant and the year after the engagement his sexual needs became pushy and unbearable to me. I didn’t give in. In a bed and breakfast on a vacation I heard this weird noise in the morning. Curious about what it was I got out of bed and saw him in the bathroom. He masturbated. I had no idea men did that. Now I knew. I felt nausea for days.

“How do I tell him to stop pushing me?” I asked my father for help.

“Men are like that,” my father said.

I was alone in this and this felt terribly wrong. I had to be brave.

“I want to be wild like the hippies and flower power girls with their amazing clothes and crazy cool hair and I want to go to college,” I told me fiance in a bar.

He patted my head like a pet’s and chuckled.

“Little sweetheart, “ he said in a calming voice, ”you are much too good for that.”

I was too good for all the good stuff?

I stared at him. I did not want to be his little angel.

Ha, ha, ha,” I said with a grim grin.

His bewildered face reminded me of the disgusting cow’s tongue in cream sauce I had to politely accept not to insult the uncle who had cooked an expensive meal. It had made me storm the bathroom to throw it up. It was time to summon my powers to spit out the man who was “given” to me, screw holy condemnation.

I am a good Catholic girl, I thought sarcastically, I will admit to my sins and after ten paternosters I will be pure again.

My mother told me that you see our future in a nice house with four bedrooms,” I said, smiling.

Happy that I changed my tone he answered, “Yes, maybe even five? And you will have your own car.” He added a generous smirk, relieved that a possible fight had been circumvented.

“So that I can drive our kids to school,” I commented.

He explained that I could also go shopping, as he would give me an allowance for outfits.

“Nice,” I said. “Do you still think that my high school degree is enough to help our kids with homework and serve your guests? Would I be smart enough for your doctors and engineers?”

“Of course,” he answered, eager to be accommodating, “that’s enough. If you don’t know an answer you smile and swing your sexy hips. College these days just screws with women’s brains.”

There was something about this black leather dress with its long fringes that made me feel strong and safe.

I got up.

“Where are you going?”

I threw a kiss at the handsome guy at the bar and walked towards the entrance door.  The fiancé rushed after me grabbing my arm. I pushed his hand off. 

“Don’t touch me or I make a scene.” He looked panicky now as guys from his doctorate class hung out at the end of the bar. He let go.

Opening the heavy exit door I added, “Don’t follow me.”

It was raining but I didn’t care. I would walk home. He ran after me grabbing my arm again trying to push me towards his car. 

“I am driving you home,” he demanded.

“No.”

 I pulled the engagement ring from my finger and tossed it into the next puddle.

“You are not driving me anywhere ever again. I hate everything about you.”

I walked.

“You will always be bound to the first man you had sex with,” he yelled after me. “You will never forget me.”

Now I ran, cursed by his Catholic karma, the water splashing onto my shiny black plateau boots. At the corner I looked back, he was not following me. He was digging into the puddle to find his investment.

I had exercised my right to say No and was not hit by heavenly punishment.

Drenched, swirling around myself like a Dervish I felt my wings, dripping wet wonderful wings.

Two weeks later I signed up for college. Two months later I moved into my own apartment, ten minutes away from my parents yet it felt like light years away.

It had taken my black leather dress two days to dry while my wings morphed into those of a fierce black rebel raven.

I would never get married and I would ever wear white again.

……………

After being a fierce independent entrepreneur for two decades in Europe, my stubborn fate pushed me into being a wedding planner for 15 years, a rather funny moment for my friends. I got used to the world of white princesses, some of them proper but none of them “pure”. I always felt a little sarcastic but I loved many of my brides so I pushed my past under the carpet.

I kept the promise of my 18 year young rebel girl; I did not get married and never wore white.

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I recently did.

I had gone through a fashion journey of a colorful phoenix rising from the ashes of her past in fiery red, I wore Kill Bill yellow, world embracing pink and other pastel colors I had never accepted; they opened my heart and my eyes.

In August 2019 my inner stylist put me into a monochrome white outfit with lavender Barbie booties. I wore it for a photo shoot. I had out of body experiences before but this was a “landing in my body” experience; at 60+ I am returning to my innocence, a song from Enigma that had filled my heart in the 90’s. Circles are closing and when I say I feel like 16 it is because I am at a new start, one that includes the words I had lost on the way; believe, trust and faith.

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In color psychology white is innocence and purity but also balance, fairness and neutrality, the color of new beginnings, of pouring out the full glass to fill it with new thoughts, perspectives and experiences. I pour my heart as much as my pain and limitations into my memoir, which happily ends in a new journey believing my visions and dreams. My next book is the blank canvas of my life waiting to be conceived and written by me.

I am the black raven, the red phoenix, the multi colored peacock and the angel, I am the princess and the rebel; my white angel wings are adorned with colorful sparkle of crystals, my kind of wings.

White is complete and pure, the color of perfection; it has it all, all probabilities.

Let white open your eyes; dive into it, feel it, let it talk to you. What is your story with white?

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Be as GRAND as you like. Lessons from Maye Musk and 2020 Quarantine

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I hugged Maye Musk.

So what?

It was a week before the pandemic hit and I went into Quarantine for now 24 days. Okay, I walk the dog around the block twice a day. Masked, with hat, glasses and in a big coat carefully keeping my distance especially from those renegades without masks. LA has a mask-on order since this Friday,

Alas. Hugging is a beautiful thing from the past.

I didn’t only hug Maye but one of the hosts, my friend Ann Gentry and half a dozen new connections at one of Jill’s happy women dinners.

Did I catch the virus there? It could also have been a Lassen’s crowded market place or a guy who sneezed on me at Gelson’s, the local grocery store. Do I have the virus? There’s no test for mild cases and I’m too scared to go outside to a packed hospital anyway. I am fighting something though since three week…

Metaphors fly in. “I’ve got something on my chest,” or “I’ve got a frog in my throat.” I went deeper into my questions, myself and slowly answers pop up in messages, comments and dreams. My symptoms seem to respond to my insights like magic. Yesterday night I woke up amidst a vivid dream and sobbed. I let go of guilt from my past I had ignored, which sat heavy on my chest. My inflammation is not gone but half as bad today. To find the nuggets of awareness in the mess we’re in is one of our chances to get out, better.

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I had hesitated to risk the dinner meet as 40 women were invited. Deciding to go despite the virus in the naivete of early March I rushed out of the house, not groomed as most of the time. My hair wasn’t styled. I still asked for a photo shoot with Maye. I still enjoyed the cameras flashing; I was good enough. One of the first times I consciously thought, eff the hair, the imperfections; I am good enough. It was a rush of joy and combined with Maye’s joie de vivre this evening became an amazingly empowering memory. I now hang on to it. I tend to see the darkest options first and felt the collective fear in my cells, a deep rooted tribal note in my genetic code. I need positivity; we need a positive future vision.

My real life ageless rebel lessons from my meeting with Maye are like guidelines, reminders for what we can learn during isolation. Without distraction from the outside we have the chance to find treasures on the inside, in storytelling wardrobes as much as in our psyche and the basements of our feelings.

  1. Be always prepared and “ready” but if you’re not improvise with confidence. True confidence comes from our essence and letting go of the learned programs often hiding our power.

  2. Don’t take NO for an answer. When we know and own our yes we can stand up for it. Rules are often there to be questioned.

  3. Be as grand as you like, its now or never to discover true passion and purpose.

  4. I called reinvention an inherent power of midlife. Midlife is a mini emergency and navigating our challenges made us wiser, wittier and stronger. We have reinvention training, let’s use it. Isolation is a gateway to rethinking the past and rebuilding the future with the world in mind, all of us. If we want hugs back ego has to go.

  5. Bad hair days and “not good enough” belong to the past. Vanities are good for one thing only; to discover what’s in there for us. Where do our insecurities come from and what’s our medicine?

  6. Fessing up to true desires; if our Yes was planned to play out in the outside world we find a new stage online, we McGyver it.

  7. Our outfits have power, they attract connections and show us who our friends are. Truth lies in our wardrobes; who we are and are not anymore. Dive into your wardrobe with me and find treasures, then revamp them into your confident knowing self. Show the stories and epiphanies you discover not just your pretty. Choose depth over surface.

  8. Be prepared and ready that when we show our “real” not only friends but foes and haters might show up. We can’t please everybody and that’s okay. It’s not the numbers that count, not in our birth certificate nor of our friends and followers. It’s mindset and energy, a vibration of like-mindedness that connects us. (Upcoming story in the “lessons from Corona” - What type of friends do we want in midlife?)

  9. Not everybody can be or wants to be a model or famous IG influencer; our power lies in what we stand for and what our true talents are, those which contribute to life. We all need to survive and each for themselves is another outmoded attitude that belongs into the trash. Hassle is so last year….

  10. What was “normal” did not work. We lost a lot because we played by rules prescribed by big business and the lord of cash. It’s time to free your ageless rebel magic.

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What is your reinvention?

Living inside. Epiphanies from my wardrobe.

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We need smiles, my friends and followers commented on Instagram. I needed my smile badly myself as I was suffocated by fear of Covid-19, which possibly was already causing my weirdly scratchy throat. I didn't want to hold my breath counting to ten again and went for a happy making distraction; creative styling is my thing, outfits are my gurus. I dove into the past of my wardrobe to revamp dresses I did not wear anymore, making them “more me.” The goal was to inspire the eco-conscious action of shopping in our closets and revamping what we own instead of adding to landfills and buying more stuff. The planet needs us to be better.

Woke fashion is the new trend.

Like often I did not style with a plan rather let the outfit find me. In three years of hands-on fashion explorations I discovered that my life was not just set up like a screenplay where locations, supporting actors and even my opponents played their perfect roles, I also had an inner wardrobe stylist. I had I took scissors, cut, re-matched, had a giggle and let myself be drawn to tops and boots and bags. At the end of the video, as my next one will be about story telling outfits, I asked,

“What does this revamp tell me about myself?”

The vibe of these three outfits was very similar.

Epiphany NO 1 - “You’re telling me I have a style?”

I was proud to be a book of many characters and free of the “my style” restriction.

Style is often defined by the roles we play. How much we let them take over depends on us; how aware we are weather they align or repress our true energy, that they are a tool and not our identity and how much rebel power we own to get out of our boxes.

In confident times when my actions were guided by my passion and my surroundings agreed with my soul, fashion was my art. In repressed times when I sold my soul for whatever reason; to fit in or to survive financially, I silenced my love for personal expression and my style was blah, non-existent like me.

The desire for freedom and independence is strong in me; told that we have to dress elegantly, act well adjusted, and know better than wearing “revolting mini skirts” in midlife disrupted the unhappily adjusted woman I had become. I went on a journey to prove to myself and every woman over 50 that outmoded rules and society’s expectations were to be crushed.

I went through many feelings, judgments and stories in various styles postulating that, as a fashion explorer, I have no style. My warrioress against ageism though had a hidden agenda; in the many fashion episodes she guided me too she pushed me closer to my truth. I didn’t think, I submersed in playing dress up like a child. My intuitive outfits manifested like magic; one moment I was piling pre-loved random clothes on my arm, balancing shoes and handbags in the other and in what felt like a time warp found myself swirling and telling Instagram the story of my new creation. When I wore them looking for shooting locations, I was guided to backgrounds and areas that fit them perfectly and helped reveal their story.

Presenting my outfits on social media was not without challenges. The journey saw me stumble over my fear not to be relatable or cringe under voices from the past of to being “too much” again; emotional band aids and spiritual showers were my best friends.

My fashion adventures drew a road map through my queendom; a space made of my thoughts, visions and actions, where I tore down borders inside and outside. The amazing people who lived in it or just visited my world like tourists colored what was black and white and pointed their flashlights into the corners I had ignored. As a reward they received power tokens, gifts to show to others in their own worlds.

I arrived in act three, entering the stage of Queen, the empowered, wise, empathetic and benevolent Queen. I was surely old enough to be one. I adjusted my tiara ready to rule.

Epiphany NO 2 - “You’re not a queen,” my three girly outfits said, “you are a rebel princess.”

It was more than “not being there yet”; the fully empowered woman, successful author and wealthy owner of Portuguese Quintas and French castles. It was not just missing the promised crown jewels. I had never felt grown up or ready. I have no clue what it means to “arrive” because each time I did it turned out just to be a stop not a landing. I was and am always reaching for my full potential.

Epiphany No 3 - “Not ready” made me miss opportunities but “not done yet,” not settling in for good is my power. I am searching, finding, experimenting. I’m in flow and flux; it’s my elixir of eternal youth, wrinkles or not. A queen doesn’t giggle, isn’t frilly, funky, girly or silly. A queen doesn’t have bruised knees. I fell twice trying out the new heights of my teenie-bopper plateaus. I’m okay with still needing my box of band-aids.

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My empowerment is to own the rebel and the princess and to accept serving my queen, let's call her my essence or soul.

Epiphany No 4 - I have learned to trust the bigger picture of me. I let my soul own the throne for another decade or so. Or forever, who knows? I stay her curious explorer girl and fierce rebel, her sidekicks, the messenger and the missionary doing her bidding.

Personal freedom comes from getting to know our true self and owning who we are right now.

If you’d like to play in your isolation chamber,

1. Inspect your wardrobe, what does it tell you about yourself?

Which colors and styles dominate it?

Is that really how you feel about yourself?

If you were a casting director, who would you hire for these clothes?

2. Make a pile of outmoded clothes.

Before you toss or sell them, take scissors and safety pins, needle and thread and any accessories you fancy and make them into something new, a style more you.

Make it like a sketch, avoid the need for perfection. Let it be like curious, innocent child play and your outfit creation might surprise you.

Tell us, what did you see?

Check out the IGTV on Instagram or Youtube

Plans don't work.

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I never believed in writer’s block, but for the last three months of 2019 I had one. I felt resistance to finish my book, even to write a blog. I created a mind map for my publishing goals, a 2020 clear vision plan.

My social media followers were inspired. “Do you have more mind map examples?”

I sure did. I dug for them in the storage section of my writer’s studio, which I have never time to organize. I just add to the top. The pile of creative chaos contained dozens of detailed mind maps on big sketch pads, hundreds of orderly lists in notebooks and many powerful “framing my day” exercises in my Ageless Rebel planners. I took pictures for my fans when reality slapped me.

My book was unpublished after two years of intense writing. Romantic love stayed locked in my medieval fantasy script and true independence or freedom? My BIG plans had not manifested the way I had hammered them out on paper. Even my vision boards hung unfulfilled in the corners. I saw Woody Allen grin. “’If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.”

My plans were soap bubbles. My vision boards were wallflowers.

My small plans hadn’t panned out either. I’m not running around the lake, regularly engage in vlogging or blogging and only in my head am I committed to intermittent fasting. I’ve got a bunch of social media calendars but as an rebelliously intuitive content creator I change posts according to my moods.

Help! I browsed and found Joseph.

“Writer’s block results from too much head. Cut off your head. Pegasus, poetry, was born of Medusa when her head was cut off. You have to be reckless when writing. Be as crazy as your conscience allows.”
Joseph Campbell -
A Joseph Campbell Companion: Reflections on the Art of Living

The director of my recent months had been Madame Ego. She kept my in control with doubts. I texted my friend, “To make plans work we need mind maps of why they don’t.”

Every MANIFESTING PLAN needs an OBSTACLE MAP.

I put “obstacles to my book” in the middle of the page. The arrow pointing to the bottom described my stuck reality and what got me there. The arrow upwards was for the subcategory of my negative expectations, the side arrow to the right pointed to limiting beliefs and to the left to messages from my inner bullies.

Questions I asked myself

  • do I give my plans a real chance?

  • what has hindered me before to stick to it?

  • what are the messages , the voices I am listening to?

  • when and how did structure fizzle into mush before? How did that feel?

  • what’s the payoff not achieving my goals?

  • which old messages and mindset do I need to erase?

  • where does my motivation come from? My truth or society’s demands?

  • how does “need” influence my steps?

  • how many real life steps did I truly make towards my goal before giving up?

To make plans work they have to be aligned with all we are

Every MANIFESTING PLAN needs an overhaul by our inner team.

  • I reviewed my plan for 2020, asking my spirit, mind, body and soul for their input. I observed and asked;

  • how my body reacted when FEELING the steps and goal of my plan (resistance or welcome)

  • how my plan matters to my deepest desires

  • if I felt passionate about it

  • did my spirit agree to my intentions?

  • is my mind satisfied with how I position myself in the world?

  • what does my goal matter to my bigger picture?

After its revision, I turned my obstacles into their opposite. Some of them needed suspension of disbelief. Luckily our brains don’t care about our doubts, for them, the sentence is a reality. Observing limitations turn into powers even if only on paper can cause a giggle of mischievous satisfaction.

One of my obstacles had been that I had to do everything by myself. I changed it to the affirmation; “I am open to receive support.” The reward for my fierce appeared with the Bing! of a text. My friend Wendi invited me to a class, a women’s circle about epiphanies. I went without checking it out, mainly to see and support her.

The concept of epiphanies turned out to be a sparkly new angle to look at my life, which I see as a movie script; epiphanies as foreshadowing powers. At the end of the discussions each of us opened Elise’ planner on a page “meant for us”. Mine said

“Don’t worry about making it all perfect, because it’s never going to be perfect. Not-so-perfect is just as beautiful.” (Rachel Blaylock) I changed “beautiful” into “meaningful,” as I am a recovering perfectionist. I adore when things click and align.

I left with the epiphany that soul-and mindful plans are part of a never-ending journey towards perfection of beautifully flawed humans. Our actions and baby steps are to fill our cracks with gold.

My muse says she’s happy that I made a plan.

My ego sulks.

Fashion as personal revolution; take your bras out of the closet.

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“Bold, rad, badass,” were the comments on my outfit; a 60s crochet bras on bare skin appearing under an oversized coat. My booties said “Do Ya Thing.”

So what, you might say. Celebs started in 2017 to show their bras on naked skin, under jackets or instead of a top. Now it’s a trend, big deal… You’re right. Badass actions are easy when you’re famous, young and own a physique chiseled to society’s perfection.

In midlife our bodies are often not what “perfect” describes. Worse, ageism awaits us with jail jackets of suffocating judgments and outmoded expectations. The reaction to older women claiming their queendom is answered with belittling ahs and ohs and casting calls for the “crazy old chick.” The media presents sassy grandmas, who are “so cute” making the best of saggy features, of menopause brains or artificial hips. Aging is a weird struggle and brave tackle, which needs smart solutions not a grin. I rather do exercises to prevent sagging boobs than present them as funny. Self deprecation works on a comedian’s stage but in the midlife arena cements expectations of unavoidable decay.

Badassery in midlife requires a whole new set of fierce tools with a different self-loving polish. We’re letting our inner children play and tell them they can do whatever they set their minds on. My first bras gifted to me by an encouraging leader of a girls’ camp was a magical entry into teenage hood, an exciting sinful secret I hid from my mother. She would have ruined it with her fear of sexuality. My silky secret whispered that I would be okay one day, that it is a gift not a defeat to be a woman. Revisiting the experience of our first bras can be a flashlight into our mindset.

To experiment with out-of-the-box fashion like showing our lingerie is playful but even more; it’s like training our fierce in a boxing ring where we exercise who we are and what we want. Do we throw the towel adhering to old-fashioned values or swing the red gloves of liberation?

“Take your lingerie out of the closet” is the challenge of today. It’s also a giggle.

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The first time I dared a bralette on bare skin under a coat was visiting an art opening where bold fashion is applauded and fear is fun like stage fright; I got the applause I hoped. 

Afterwards I stepped into a late-open supermarket to buy dog food. A few shoppers acknowledged the bold style with a smile. Most were unimpressed as close to Hollywood unusual wardrobe or entertainment peeps are every day occurences. I walked tall in my combat boots. To propagate ageless rebeldom on social media is one thing, to live it is being a Roly Poly. One falls into “Damn I’m old” and gets up again to “Yay, I’m my ageless essence.”

Not every fearless fashion rebel act, which is anything I am afraid of, worried or judgmental about, has made me happy. This outfit did. Old chicks aren’t sexy? Give me a break.

My feminist mindset dislikes bras because of the negative sexist connotations, but being a midlife badass puts a new spin to it; showing off bras is rebellious. It says old chicks are a sensual force to reckon with, sexy in an evolved, aware, powerful self-loving way. I don’t reveal lingerie as a weapon on a cougar path. I throw my mirror image a kiss; me and me, we play for our very own empowering fun. We giggle about our daring and sometimes silly discoveries. To show our unrestrained playful to the world is an act of bravery like a political statement.

Our outfits come with stories. I freed myself of an abusive relationship in my late 30s stepping into the outfit of an “easy woman”. Silk stockings held up by a lacy girdle, matching bras and high heels helped to leave a man who disrespected me. I escaped in a polished Beamer into an affair with an artist who understood the attire. “I see you, I protect you.” Psychologists call objects we imbue with meaning “power objects.”  

Sexy at 60 is a rebellion against ageism and a punch into sexism. We reclaim and reframe how we want to be seen.

Before they became push-up and plunge bras enhancing cleavage or padded to pretend big boobs, bras began as a powerful anti-repression and physical freedom support.

Only about 120 years ago the separation of bras and girdle ended the health threatening, suffocating, immobile dolls producing use of corsets. Feminists claimed that greater participation of women in society required emancipation from corsetry, a need for greater mobility outside and in. In 1874 Elizabeth Stuart Phelps urged to “Burn the corsets.” “Burn the bras,” was a slogan in more recent decades.

The history of women’s breasts and how they were wrapped or not could fill a 500-page book. The fascinating account of women’s repression and liberation intertwined with our changing social status, refelcts the evolution of fashion and changing views of the female body. Women have used a variety of garments and devices to cover, restrain, hide, reveal, flatten or enhance the appearance of their breasts. The style responded to society’s demands sprinkled with a few attempts to reclaim ownership of our bodies.

What do women really want? What’s our very own honest relationship to our boobs and bras?

I’m often bras-less under my outfits as less restriction lets me breathe easier.  And, even if I never was a hippie, the colorful emotions and passionate calls for liberation of the 60s and 70s left an undeniable imprint. Bare boobs are cool in my world.

Philosophic pondering about human physiques and my aversion of glorifying body parts aside, I appreciate my breasts. My social conditioning tells me they’re cute. My rebel tells me that in a society putting so much importance on their styling I shall continue to treat them as sidekick of women power.

Viva breasts, bras and ageless rebel beauty.

We win confidence out of the box. You might discover a new fierce letting your bras come out of the closet.

How to style your liberated bras

  • Bralette over a T-shirt for an easygoing and edgy outfit.

  • Bustiers over blouses

  • Bras over or under a transparent shirt or dress

  • Go sans top and show a bralette under a blazer or coat like a top

  • Pair it with an unbuttoned vest or kimono

  • Show it under a loose crochet sweater

  • Sport it under or over fishnet tops

  • Let stylish bralettes peep out from beneath tank tops

  • Wear a lingerie top under a jacket

Tricks for the midlife woman

Combine the bralette with high waist pants

Use mesh tops with long sleeves

Button your jacket on the lower end if you’re nervous to reveal too much

Empowerment tips
Try it out at home or in a clothing store’s dressing cabin
What feelings come up looking at yourself?
Take a selfie
Post it on your favorite social platform, how does it feel? Scary, fun, empowering, rebellious?

Use your followers’ comments to discover more of your thoughts and feelings

Wear it outside

Repeat the above
Where does your reaction/judgement/emotion come from?

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