Don’t let go of your past; let your teenage tantrums dress your day.

Succession from Tomboy to edgy elegance

“Just let go of your past!”

“No. Don’t. Upcycle it.”

Responding to a life coach who proposed that we had to let go of our experiences and restart on a blank page, I felt massive resistance. Not only was “just” seriously misplaced in this context, who has ever let go of beliefs and stories with ease? but the throw away culture puts cleanliness above awareness. My motto; stop, breathe and let your outfits talk before they’re tossed or upcycled. The material world both provides an inspiring paradise of feelings and insights.

Stories of stuff

There are many ways to use the stories of our stuff productively. Letting my teenage tantrums dress me was one of the most enjoyable breakthroughs of my life.

Reinvention means soul searching, no matter what age. My most recent pivots happened after I went from motherhood to solo life and from throwing super busy events to the silence of being a writer again. What now?

On one of our meditative walks, my curious Tibetan terrier, secretly my guru, pulled me into Crossroads, a chain of pre-loved contemporary fast fashion and designer outfits often displayed in loft like settings. Surrounded by Millennials, creative fashionistas my son’s age, my hand slid over many different fabrics from eclectic chic to norm core. What did I have to loose? Ten minutes later I schlepped twenty pieces of sartorial mismatch to the dressing room, which are, since a year now, closed. My inner kid had entered the candy store. I let go of judgments. I played.

Time travel

A bib overall evoked the story of my mom throwing mine away when I was ten. “You’re just a girl,” she said, “behave and look like one.” Craving my parents’ acceptance I gave in to pink socks, cutesy dresses and curly hair. Kneeling on a hard bench in an ancient Catholic church in Sunday mass, I felt my anger. I didn’t want to kneel. Perhaps it dawned on me then that I would fight the patriarchal mindset one day. I knew for sure that I hated Shirley Temple.

Braving a few teenage tantrums only resulted in more loneliness and tears. Finally, in college, I ripped my clothes to shreds and safety-pinned them back together punk style. My parents freaked out. Good! I would never be a pink girly girl again. Every success in my life that followed was fueled by the desire to prove that I was as smart, tough and business savvy as a male.

At Crossroads I slipped into a tomboy sweater and pink faux leather pants, looking myself up and down with a sarcastic grin. After three decades of business woman and mom style, I would be a tomboy at 60, a modern boy who saw girls as his equals. A few weeks later we dressed the sexy power girl, even the pink princess. Childlike play without preconceived notions is like meditation, it gets us into different zones of understanding.

The voices of our past can help us delete the limiting voices of our present. Styling the roles we played or were not allowed to, reconnect us to pain and power.

In my rebel college times we created our wardrobe to make art not war. Decades later my outfits made me the ageless rebel, promoting to bravely wear what we feel; daily baby steps towards true confidence. My teenage type fashion tantrum, I’m 60 but 16! on Instagram ended in new friends, laughter and a career in fashion psychology.

Acknowledging and feeling our past enables us to find what is truly us, inside and out. For me it’s being both, wild and wise. I call it edgy elegance.

Insecure, bored or searching for your authentic style?

If you are insecure in your style, bored with your wardrobe, or actively looking for a sartorial vibe that connects you with your kind of people, find that innocent sense of adventure of your childhood. Dive into the rebellions of your teenage years; where do they guide you to? What did you dream of that can help you know to step into new boots?

Some women feel that “younger styles” don’t match their body shapes or status anymore. We don’t need mini skirts, naked bellies, fluffy tulle skirts or a $50,000 McQueen to dress our wild side, princess or diva. Accessories are waiting to make our points; the girly backpack, dramatic jewelry, punk boots, fringes at jackets, tulle at the bottom of skirts, a theatrical scarf, hats, gloves, socks in heels, patterned stockings, belts… they all talk loud enough.

Our inner children are unconditionally loving, curious and have an innocent sense of adventure. Our inner teenagers have a wild desire of wanting to own their voice. Uproars of “I can’t take this any longer”, meaning the situations we’re in, often include their warning that they can’t take us any longer. Us as in being so grown up, serious, stiff, full of learned judgments and fears. When we repress their feelings for too long, they don’t tell anymore but show us in all kinds of physical aches.

We might have color coordinated wardrobes making it easy to get ready. Nothing against practicability or comfort, but using color swatches to chose your outfits denies us the enlightenment of sartorial bliss. Bliss is found in feeling our outfits, opening up to the vibration of colors, the history of styles and the stories of fabrics. Outfits can guide you into long forgotten desires and fantasies.

The path to finding our true style goes through the dreams and tantrums of our younger years.

Hi babe, are you on Clubhouse?

“Hi babe, are you on Clubhouse? Would you like to be? I’ve got invites.”

“What’s Clubhouse?”

Witnessing the audio app’s fantastic real-time discussions for a week, I felt everybody knew the newest platform craze and Covid-entranced me had stumbled into it too late. Still in beta, the app had turned buzzy in May 2020 because celebrities and high-profile venture capitalists were promoting it. How did I miss this, and what did I miss? I didn’t want anybody else to be Clubhouse depraved and sent passionate DM’s to my followers and friends. Got an iphone? Get in now before millions of Androids flood the real estate.

In a world where we can’t hug anymore, the Universe had been listening; it gave us Clubhouse, perfect for pandemic times. Voices touch us in chat rooms, replacing the hugs we miss. People eager to meet kindred spirits expand their connections and perspectives by tapping into completely new communities. Okay, it wasn’t the Universe on her own handing us a cool gift, she had help from Silicon Valley entrepreneur Paul Davison and ex-Google employee Rohan Seth, two passionate tech people who turned their app epiphany into the newest craze. Hands on, they’re welcoming and teaching Newbies every Wednesday night. They’ll probably be sainted for this.

“It’s not an app, it’s an experience,” said one of the many 6 and 7 figure business coaches, talks I usually avoid as their hussle intentions feel so yesterday. But some of them caught the heart centered vibe; business moguls step down to earth and become people. Philanthropy is big in rose colored rooms aiming for a better future. A CEO who had successfully invested in Snapchat and other social media, praised Clubhouse as a unique venture that blew his mind, ending in, “I let other people run my companies, I’m on CH 24/7.”

It is seriously addictive, for sure. Some rooms run for 24 hours, others every day at the same time. We’re jumping from one mind-blowing to the next entertaining chat. Obsession hits when we realize that there are no replays. We feel the need to be on it, at it, with it, all the time as information becomes ephemeral like soap bubbles. Therapists jump in with joy, balancing people’s FOMO. With them or on our fierce own, we learn the ways of the Ninja; in and out of chats, visible when we want to and gone when the alarm rings; there’s life outside Clubhouse.

I was in pajamas when visiting my first room. That I didn’t need makeup and an edgy elegant outfit to be presentable was such a sigh of relief after three years of empowering women with rad outfits against ageism on Instagram. I only had to pretty up my attitude; to contribute to discussions without showing off, another chance to go ego-free. On Clubhouse we take our daily masks off and enter these rooms symbolically naked; not separated into race, religion, age or gender. Not being recorded empowers fearless honesty and vulnerability. If you felt alone in a world of billions of people, you have them on speaker now no matter where you are.

The experience is life changing.

I am in week three, listened a lot, contributed to several rooms, opened my own discussions and got rewarded with additional invites. The ten newbies I invited are taking their party hats off after their first week and, like me, question everything they did pre-Clubhouse in an excited, creative way. I feel I’ve entered a new century, not just a new decade. The age of Aquarius type audio app answers a longing many of us felt for a long time, to let our souls speak. Self promotion? Yikes. Stop the pitch. Make an impression by being your self, your energy will win people over not your laurels, so says my scribble on page one of my Clubhouse note book.

We’re used to slapping important opinions onto Twitter, discussing personal drama on Facebook, business on Linkedin and posting pretty fashion pics on Instagram or Pinterest. We curated conditional truths on these platforms though and shaped our personas to the liking and the likes of our followers. It’s different now. Not that the desire to sell products or services disappeared, but for many it’s not their primary motivation anymore. On Clubhouse we follow people because who we follow creates your experience; we see their topics announced in our our hallways. The algorithm doesn’t care if we follow more people than we have followers; we let our curiosity, interests and desires be our guides.

We have the permission to be multi dimensional beings with many interests and varying topics. The PHD in math opens a room for foodies, and the chef talks Sci-Fi. I share my expertise of fashion empowerment, branding and longevity as a gift but step into new circles of passionate creatives and conscious entrepreneurs. The expansiveness of this world reassured my belief in my writer talents and reawakened my cultural rebel passion. I called my room, Let’s be Legendary, fearless thoughts and ageless living, with new topics and co-hosts three times a week.

Suggestions for newbies

Check the FAQ section in your settings for a lot of valuable info. Visit the Welcome Newbies room, which is open every Wednesday evening and run by Clubhouse creators.

Take a couple days to listen to speakers and watch your reactions. Make Clubhouse an awareness journey in which you can observe yourself and clarify your intentions before creating your own room.

Meander your hallways and peak into rooms. Good moderators make us feel seen, verbally hugged and, when we still have the party hat on, feel extra welcome. Calm your inner perfectionist with Vitamin B pills if you must, but jump in. Bravely hit the hand icon on the bottom of the screen and the moderator might invite you onto the stage. Make yourself known by adding value to the topic. To create an uplifting experience for everybody, don’t introduce yourself with your bio or personal drama if you’re not in a storytelling room. Be bright, brief, and gone.

Challenge No 1 — Patience

Lively discussions are fun, but respect is a beautiful virtue. When entering the stage mute your mic and curb your enthusiasm; wait for the invitation to speak. Tapping the mic in a fast sequence shows up as applause for whoever is speaking. You might occasionally also slap your sofa in frustration when lengthy monologues test your patience. There is a ban button for bullies repeatedly hawking the conversation.

Challenge No 2 — Nobody tosses you the ball

Don’t wait for others to see you. Go through the profiles of the speakers and attendees and follow whoever you care to meet again. Hit the bell at their name if you want alerts when the speaker is live. Connect to people via their linked Twitter or Instagram accounts.

Challenge No 3 — Time management

Notifications will fly in all day long; it’s part of your Ninja training to ignore them. Your mantra, “There is no FOMO.” Turning notification off isn’t wise, as your friends and connections can’t ping you when something amazing is going on. Before you master choosing your chats strategically, you will probably get sucked into the marvelous mansion of smart minds. Expect your free will to melt away. Forgive yourself. Chose a comfy couch, have enough snacks handy and a big jug of water. Sink in.

Challenge No 4 — We get crushed. Our self-worth sinks into the basement.

The high-powered knowledge of thousands of smart people can make us feel like a wallflower. Hold on to your self-worth, people. We might not always be super eleoquent or at PhD level, but a unique, ego-free contribution will be relevant for somebody.

Practical solution: We hammer down our worth in our bios

Tips for the bio

1. The first three lines are our most important real estate, that’s what people see when they click on our thumb print photo. If they like it they’ll check your entire bio and connect with you on Twitter or Instagram.

2. Emojis are searchable when we use the ones Clubhouse assigned to the interests in settings.

3. It’s more inspiring to use our first three lines for passion and purpose than for degrees and services. I changed my bio 22 times. The algorithm might hate me now, but I couldn’t help it. I wanted to be more than the fashion rebel on Instagram and asked intuition to guide me. It took some shaking off of old ideas to get it right. My reward for being radically real on Clubhouse is loving my creative fashion adventures on Instagram again; to have an outlet for all we are is life changing.

Challenge No 5 — Be open to change. This is an invitation to be real.

We might feel tempted to hang on to what we think we know. But the Clubhouse experience can reveal and empower so much more if we are open to listen. We make new connections with others and also our souls.

Challenge No 6 — Create your own room.

Don’t use the “create a room” on the bottom of your screen. Within your main calendar is a tiny calendar with a plus where you can schedule your room and invite co hosts that complement not compete with you. You can make them moderators later, clicking on their picture before attendees come in. They help you keep the discussion flowing, remind people to follow each other and take on other tasks that help you stay focused. Do a private room with friends first, test the options.

Welcome your guests like friends and from time to time re-set the room; repeat what the topic is and your rules, if you have any. Visit the “tips to being a great moderator” presentation.

After three hosted rooms, you can apply for your own club.

Challenge 7 — Politics, fight for equity and drooling over celebs

Most humans are far from being balanced Zen, we are ambitious and are only slowly learning that our contributions should be good for us, for the community and the world. Clubhouse is not without negative emotions, bitching and virtual biting. When in doubt jump back to what matters; this is supposed to be open minded creative discussions about how to make the world healthier.

My dream of creating a inclusive, vibrant community within our broken world in the wide open spaces of New Mexico, Montana or maybe Portugal found its virtual sisters; intentionally life improving rooms in the Clubhouse think and feel tank. My club will be like a Parisian salon for innovative minds creating a fantastic future. We got a amazing chance here, the more people join the new future clubs, the more we occupy space for the greater good and make sure that the outmoded patriarchal mindset can’t take over. Let’s evoke people power, let’s be legendary together.

Clubhouse isn’t an app, it’s an experience and we can elevate it into a society that heals our world.

I partnered with Medium to publish stories that matter.

Angie Weihs

You're so fake... what the heck is being real?

There are many songs and stories written about kings of phony, princesses of pretense, gorgeous copycats and psycho pseudos. Mademoiselle fake plays her role in fake love, fake friends, fake beauty, fake happy.

When an old friend judged my social media smiles as such, I was shocked. “That’s not the real you,” he commented. He knew me from the 70s, when punk was a political statement and a rebellion against the saturated middle class. Nice was too normal, shopping a consumerist sin and prancing in pretty clothes was devilishly Prada.

I had to admit that friend was right; my public image wasn’t always an expression of my personal situation not to talk of my political opinion but my theater of the moment was never phony, in he now of photo shoots I was my smile. My image had become my medicine.

Fake is bad but can be used for good.

Fake it to make it is a power. My smile against the odds lifted me out of crisis, awakened my inner child and playful outfits helped me to find my strength. I could cuddle up in deep existential thoughts for hours, get up for a pretty in pink photo shoot and back to writing about the demise of the human race, not feeling that I just lied at all. I was totally real in my attempts to find out what the heck my real really was.

2021 arrived and #beingreal is more in than ever. We post our make up free faces and casually unadorned comfort; styles formerly judged as unattractive. It’s a worthy rebellion against the excruciating demands of the fashion and beauty industry. Our daily normal is a welcome disruption of painfully superficial vanities but real isn’t being normal. Normal is boring. (until we play it loud like normcore)

We are here to create, to evolve, to become better; to make the best out of our potential. It’s a journey which sometimes needs the fake to arrive at the real.

Being fake to arrive at our real

Not pretty, slim, sexy or young enough? Play it and it becomes your very own make belief. An actor who embodies her/his role perfectly often comes out on the other end enriched with feelings he’d never imagined to identify with. Creative discovery means to explore, to play and build sand castles, to test and fail. Truth can be fantastically bright and being natural? Just one look at the mind boggling creativity of nature shows us the true meaning of natural; its not beige but a psychedelic color feast.

Fake has several levels

1. Unintentionally fake - the person who imitates and follows trends without thinking because “that’s what girls do.”

2. Needy fake - the person who craves to “be somebody” and uses real or fake adornments to show their worth

3. Fearfully fake - the person who holds on to one persona/ image as everything else would endanger the safety of their social box

4. Intentionally fake - the person who uses an artificial image for monetary or other gains

5. Consciously fake - the person who tries out roles to discover who she/he really is

When I post a smile and really wanna cry it’s still authentic as my smile is an attempt to get me out of my momentary misery by giving lightness to others. The key is to check in with our feelings and motivations; to know where we are at and be brave enough to share the fearful as much as the fierce.

Real is a dance of all our personas and made up alter egos can become guides to new power.

One dimensional is fake

When we are forced to hold on to just one expression of ourselves we are in dis-ease; human beings have complex genes and history. Long gone are the times where having multiple personalities was only considered a dis-order; they can be here to serve us.

Stepping into what we’re afraid of, faking the rebel, the yuppie, the wild woman or diva, might reveal that we thought we knew as our selves is just a fraction of the truth.

Real is a medley of our frumpy, funky, fancy; the all of you or me.

The hidden power of influencers

Life is an ongoing sale no matter if in business or daily life. We sell our image for money or love or acceptance by our tribe. Branding our own product or service is often our passion and sometimes even our purpose. But influencers sell other people’s stuff. How do we balance the need for being real and the want of money and success? Many of us feel a dilemma, as we don’t want to sell our soul. Luckily authenticity isn’t a state; it’s a journey.

The friendly term “collaboration” means to create with mutual benefits, but in reality brands simply pay us with products or money for us to praise them. That’s paid advertising. Some influencers made my skin crawl sugar coating product values or even lying with photo shopped before-and-after pictures. Pushing well-known polluters and applauding health threatening fast food and pharmaceutics makes my skin crawl. I thanked the fast fashion brands that hit me up for their interest, but I had none to take their money. I felt positively righteous and kept my Instagram gallery “pure.” As a storyteller, I aimed for being like Hulu without ads. (But then Hulu gets paid for the luxury of ad-freedom.)

People like to be sold to?

The account of a good friend who advertised the heck out of her gallery made me stop and wonder. Instead of being put off, her followers loved her sales posts. Her number of followers even grew. People like to be sold to? Putting judgment aside, I observed for a while and her vibe said, “I love what I am doing.” It was her joy that was contagious and the small business she advertises were often up to my eco-loving standards. Maybe I could be like her?

A casting agent told me that my style and opinions were too young for the midlife crowd and I was too old to be an influencer for Millennials. When she added that at my age I needed to have gray hair, I sulked; I was a rad rebel midlife influencer and would be blonde forever. Resistance is a multi-layered response and mine wasn’t productive. What was my Yes? Why would I promote products?

Our why is a tool for freedom

No matter if we sell or promote a product, service, story or philosophy; our why makes it valuable. Does our presence solidify the old mindset of a patriarchal society? Does it cement the old ideas of what beauty or aging is? Are we lulling people to sleep in their cozy bedding or waking them up to adventures? Is our why propelling us to the life of our dreams?

A jar of organic Sauerkraut in my hand reminded me how its fermented magic had helped me stay slim and gut-healthy since I was a teenager. Right then an epiphany hit me. It wasn’t just about ageless mindset and fearless style stories; products tell their tales too and they can be symbolic for our message.

Influencers can change the world

With the power of being an influencer comes great responsibility, to set trends not to follow them, to provoke discussions, open minds and create quality and equality. We don’t squeeze ourselves into the “normal” of the advertising world.

1. We influence not just your followers but brands by being picky and checking on their practices. Telling them why we don’t want to work with them will make them rethink and change their policies. When I was a wedding planner, I asked every company I worked with about their eco-friendly measures. If they didn’t have any, like recycling or organic food, I chose a company who had. Who wants to lose 500 guest weddings; I got restaurants to do recycling, offer organic and vegan choices and transport rentals in eco fueled trucks. Influencers have that same power; brands don’t want to lose powerful Instagrammers.

2.  Remember “our vibe attracts our tribe?” We invite the advertising gigs we like with our conscious branding, letting our philosophy of life show up in our style.

3. We choose who we want to collaborate with. The value in the word collaboration becomes a true give and take when we support mindful small businesses and sustainable companies with empowering philosophies. We lift collaborations to a new level; we create a crew of strong female characters who slay evil practices, rescue the environment, and save the world...all while wearing heels.

And yes, we might loose a big bad advertising gig when we let our soul speak but we gain self-respect and use our influence for a better world; we are the beauty queens who mean it.

When our why styles our actions, life is an ongoing collaboration.

Parachute jumpsuit into happiness

Fly high to jump into the clouds and down to earth.

Wide legs in boots; I’m a fan of this fall trend

“Into the clouds,” I yelled, jumping from a playground structure onto the sand. I was ten and a TV show about the adventures of sky divers inspired me to enact their Adrenalin rushes. When you’re a kid, two cubic meters of air are a total thrill of fearless free flow.

I felt the kid’s excitement pulling up my silky parachute fabric overall. Like falling from the sky without constraints or barriers, a meditative moment in an outfit can detach us from needs and worries and change the day maybe even the rest of this challenging year of 2020. Without mental burdens, our intuition tells us to trust that whatever we do, we will land at the right spot and on our feet.

We need this fierce lightness right now.

One of the lightest fabric is silk and related modern synthetic fabrics like nylon.

The first sky diving jumpsuits were made of natural silk in the pre-WWII era. It was fine silkworm silk woven into airtight fabric. Even when produced sustainably, silk production tortures the worms. That and the added durability made Nylon the better choice for parachutes and fashion followed. Nylon parachute overalls can be stored for years without deteriorating, they are ageless.

Parachute fabric is described as

Strong

Tear Resistant

Elastic

Permeable

When the metaphor fits; we need to be strong and resistant, but also flexible and still let other people in and situations happen with openness.

Loose fitting overalls let us move easily. They are stylish but also practical like those used in skydiving and parachuting. Fashionable wide legged pants add a butterfly feeling and the trend to wear the fluffy pants in our boots adds power. A silky parachute type overall says courage and determination but stays soft and fluid like water.

Here I am. Tru (th) The color blue stands for truth in color psychology.

The Tom’s backpack gifted to us by Oprah at her 2016 Super Soul Conference fits perfectly

Blue is the vibration of the throat chakra, we speak up. We are present and real.

My overall is blue and white, the colors of truth and new beginnings. Whatever we need, guidance, clarity, passion, purpose or personal power there is an outfit for that. Woke fashion used as affirmations helps us to make our point.

Parachute pants were the fad in the 80s, what about some break dancing fun?

If you like to feel one of these of your skin please find a few links attached.

Pink Parachute jumpsuit from Missguided is sold out. (but Missguided has hundreds of fantastic jumpsuit styles for 50% off right now)

You can get the Joan Walter suit in turqoise at Etsy

Norma Kamali, $4000

Goop, $200

If you have the Like to know it app, this photo is enabled to see more overalls in the silky style and parachute pants.

Free People $450

Vintage, 80s, $90

If you, like me dream of the Norma Kamali jumpsuit and don’t want to spend $4000, vintage parachutes are a treasure for fashionistas who like to create their own styles. You can get yours here.

White.

Sage green.

White with original stenciled numbers

I had a vintage silk parachute used as divider in my kid’s high ceiling room. Marie Kondo happened. I threw it away.

I don’t think I ever throw away anything again.

Eccentric. Rebellious. Untamed; the woman with a Gypsy spirit in a Boho dress

What if women ruled the world?

Dior’s runways both for spring/summer and fall/winter showed us that fashion and feminism can be sisters in love with women power. We are creative protectresses of our world. Like the amazing collaboration of Dior’s artistic director, Maria Grazia Chiuri, with feminist artist Judy Chicago, our outfits collaborate with our soul and she wants us to be a messenger of our truth.

Chiuri’s fashion shows were as much art as a manicured fist for change; fashion is political. Many other designers made statement supporting women’s desire for equality, still and again after thousands of years.

Dress is from We Wear What

Off the runways we walk our mindsets every day and when we do it consciously our style contributes to our confidence and clarity; when we own our truth other women will follow. Fashion empowers. Outfits talk. Judge a woman by her cover.

Goddesses In Summer

For Dior’s summer collection, Chiuri drew her inspiration from classical depictions of goddesses; symbolic for aligning the beauty of body and mind. There was an abundance of flowing fabric and royal gold but also flower power and fringes; the Bohemian intensity of the 70s. The fall/winter show celebrated Boho spirit again with shredded fringe dresses and luxe velvet suiting. Ying and yang came together in the toughening of the female and the softening of the male.

(also see: Fringe galore at Prada, Fendi, and Jason Wu’s Fall/Winter 2020 collections)

Chiuri asserted herself as an unconventional thinker in the 70s, so did I. I embraced both, the androgynous Twiggy style and the wild dresses and quirky harem pants we sewed in my feminist theatre group. Lighthearted feathers and rich jewelry tingled, rattled, and hummed when we swung our hips or strutted in our fierce bare feet or in cowgirl boots, and artful sandals.

Boho Love

“Boho reminds us of ancient and contemporary wild women”

Wearing Boho reminds us of ancient and contemporary wild women and shapes a feeling of community and togetherness; it’s a visual of “make love, not war” and a No to “normal.”

Bohemianism was and still is about much more than just frightening saturated societies; it was a culture immersed in philosophy, spirituality, mythology and rebellion, of artists of all kinds, painters, writers, actors, musicians, dancers and their friends. They typically lead a free, vagabond-ish life, literally and in spirit.

Resurrecting The Hippie

The innocence of hippie love and the passion to broaden minds of the 60s and 70s is worth resurrecting. It was revived in the 90s, when esoteric spirituality was flourishing and boundaries of mainstream reality were pushed. Maybe now, another 30 years later in 2020, we are challenged to do both; to investigate what’s true, individually and global, and to transform our mistakes with a spiritual rebellion.

Boho outfits have a fascinating history and provide endless tales. There is a different Boho shade for every woman; adventurer, gypsy, nature goddess, mystic or sophisticated sensual French saloniere. All are confidently relaxed yet exuberant styles. Swinging fabrics, unusual accessories and multi layered jewelry create a powerful mishmash of elements perfect for fierce midlife women who are done with ageist assumptions.

With Boho We Can Claim Our Power

Boho is a means to claim our power, to sum up our experiences and express our feminine wisdom in our outfits.

What if women ruled the world? What if we start right now to take a social stance against everything from materialism to society’s constraints and support like-minded women, artists and small businesses? Boykott corporations, which destroy the planet? Starting with our daily life and let our outfits call out our message? A Boho dress is not the revolution, but it carries a free spirited vibe that wakes up strength.

Modern Boho for you.

Bohemian designer fashion can be theatrical and fantastic or happy and flower power but it always is light and embracing life. Buy this beauty at my Poshmark store

Buy on Amazon

Buy here

Buy here

Buy on Amazon

Amoretu

Buy on Amazon

Buy on Amazon

Buy on Amazon

Buy on Amazon

Buy on Amazon

Get it at my Poshmark store

Cultural tidbits

Henri Murger‘s collection of short stories “Scènes de la Vie de Bohème” published in 1845, was written to glorify and legitimize Bohemia. Murger’s collection formed the basis of Giacomo Puccini‘s opera La bohème (1896).

In England, bohemian in this sense initially was popularized in William Makepeace Thackeray‘s novel, Vanity Fair, published in 1848. Public perceptions of the artfully alternative lifestyles were further molded by George du Maurier‘s best-selling novel of Bohemian culture Trilby (1894).

In Spanish literature, the Bohemian impulse can be seen in Ramón del Valle-Inclán‘s play Luces de Bohemia (Bohemian Lights), published in 1920.

In his song La Bohème, Charles Aznavour described the Bohemian lifestyle in Montmartre. The film Moulin Rouge! (2001) also reflects the Bohemian lifestyle in Montmartre at the turn of the 20th century.

Heels or sneakers; how to step up to true confidence.

Once upon a time I was a maitre d in a fancy restaurant, also called hostess.

I had to wear humble outfits to let the female guests shine, a humble servant of the new age restaurant’s not so androgynous angels and saints; they were all male. You can push the humble into a woman but… my soul’s a rebel so I sneaked it in; I wore sexy boots under formless night gown type goddess robes. My truth hidden I stomped the uneven pathways seating people in gloriously romantic nooks.

The boots told me I was still alive even when grumpy; I felt insulted by my fate. Who likes making mistakes that kick us off the throne of former success and onto the low step of the employee ladder? With 45?

At the hostess stand one night telling my helpers where to seat the waves of guests arriving between 7:30 and 8 pm, managing over-booking and missing tables, my holy hostess smiles caressed a new arrival.

“How are you doing down there?”

Freudian slip hello. The glitch evoked a sarcastic giggle later but at first it was like sticking a fork into a electrical outlet. This was so bad. The dizzying heights of 5.7 made me look down at a not so tall couple. The carefully denied craving of superiority of my upset ego successfully bitched through my facade. It was busy and loud enough that the couple didn’t quite hear what I said and my bright smile would always suggest just the friendliest words.

I got away with it but it sat with me.

Being on heels makes us feel tall and “on top” on many levels. Before we hopefully one day embody true confidence we might swagger the elevated diva with her snobby cool, the insecure girl who can’t live without physical elevation or the femme fatale knowing her sex appeal. Having to hide in my outfits and in words that weren’t mine my rebel couldn’t take it any longer. She reminded me to look at my reality with a Freudian slap.

I wore heels climbing over demanding building sites when I owned and ran a construction company in the 80’s, I wore cowgirl boots into intimidating lecture halls in the university and on my freelance journalist outings, I wore 6 inch goth boots to tell dates how independent I was and walked confidently into business meetings in sassy designer boots.

Boots are my power objects since I loved rain boots as a kid enabling me, “just a girl” to jump into puddles. Boot power was only rivaled by my purple Doc Martens in the 70’s.

Blue booties told me so; posting them on IG in the beginning of my fashion exploration two years ago. They were accompanied by a story of overcoming a predicament by being radically honest and a response flew in.

“You’re walking your truth,” it said, “blue is the color of the throat chakra, your true voice.”

It blew my mind as I had just published a poem ending in “I walk the streets naked,” meaning entering into life without a mask or pretense. It was a call to dig deeper, to feel my outfits; an invitation for them to talk to me and for me to listen. My boots were the first to make me understand outfit language.

Storytelling boots

The boots asked for this; a vinyl pencil skirt, the black wing back pack, a medieval design jacket with the “name of the rose” embroidered on it and my beloved; Oh Romeo. The outfits evoked a story spanning centuries.

“it was always you,” Logan says to Veronica in a Netflix show and my heart sighed. A beautiful man I had turned down a long time ago appeared in my mind; had it always been him? Is he close? Oh Romeo, I’m ready….

Rebel Boots

My love for boots including Che Guevara and Harley stompers was easy to understand, they are rebel gear, a merited and tiny cultural revenge for women being treated like possessions for centuries.

“Shoes have long been tokens of ownership and possession,” writes wedding historian Susan Waggoner about medieval times. “It became customary for a father to give one of his daughter’s shoes to the groom, an acknowledgment that the bargain had been fulfilled.” Worse, the Anglo-Saxons created the fun custom to strike the heel of his new wife’s shoe “to announce his new status over her.”

In this regard the weapon-like stiletto of a femme fatale also shines in a new woman power light.

Maverick wear

“If you confidently wear worn out shoes you’re a maverick,: say the psychologists. In addition to being more extroverted, their studies found that those who wear worn shoes tend to be emotionally stable. “They don't get bogged down by what others think about them. Needy people on the other side want our approval and perhaps their shiny, new shoes are one way they hope to get it.”

Extrovert colors and liberal sneakers

Psychologists continue that colorful shoes point to eccentric extroverts and inexpensive shoes, such as flip-flops and scuffed-up sneakers, give away a liberal-thinking wearer like Miley Cyrus who loves casual looking feet.

Goodie two shoes

Old but well-kept shoes belong to a conscientious type of person, sensible flats and comfy sneakers means the wearer is hard working, agreeable, even charitable.

Bad bad shoe!

Ankle boots supposedly point to an aggressive person and boring shoes reveal someone who is aloof and repressive.

STOP…..

This is partially right but seriously limited and born in yesterday’s mindset; when ankle boots become “aggressive” I see the patriarchate condemning women who march their spunk.

First I was annoyed then I laughed out loud. Who created these studies cruising the internet? Who are these psychologists?

My own studies are fresh and they tell us new stories. Empowered stories.

I like worn out, wear lightly used and shiny new. Does that make me a confused chick like a recently abandoned dog without direction? I have times of stable emotions AND explosive periods. I mind what others think AND dare to not be always liked. Sometimes I’m needy, sometimes I’m independent, I can be organized and creatively chaotic.

Shoes show our multi level feelings, personas and potential.

Expressive colors and patterns on our feet are even more powerful than dresses, as we literally walk our talk, our truth in them. There even is an accompanying noise. The clacking of cowgirl boots fortified with little metal plates on the soles or heels, the demanding click of high heels, the silent sneakiness of sneakers, the dancelike movement in soft flats are part of our expression.

Perhaps wearing those beige shoes with small heels means you aren’t boring but rather confidently Zen or you’re waiting for inspiration, as in my shoe’s a canvas, let’s paint it.

Stilettos are my challenge; I’m in between their potential to be a weapon on many levels and my feminist aversion against sexy hexy manipulation and shoe designers who seem to hate women as rarely can we walk in these without pain.

I rarely wore stilettos in the past. Slipping into not even remotely comfortable designers’ pairs “at my age” I felt my fear of the sexual power of my Scorpio’s femme fatale but also a new freedom. Over 60 one doesn’t have to worry to be confused with a men murdering sex kitten, not that this isn’t also worth a discussion, as in why the heck not?

That “don’t care” aspect of midlife feels like freedom to me at the moment; I can tell a hot guy that he looks amazing without wanting to impress him and I can wear heels as a confession to my self; I simply love how I look in them. When we’re unconditional, without an agenda, we become fearless.

It took me a whole new level of confidence to wear stilettos even when I just wear them for show. Wonderfully walk-able high heel booties I take with a kiss though and swagger my sex appeal. For me. For my avatar. For Instagram and empowerment in midlife.

High heels have evolved from being a sexy accessory of seduction to being my very own pleasure. And that’s what its all about; using whatever tool to be the art we truly are. I have ignored sensual desires for decades; who knows what slipping into stilettos awakens?

Fashion Theater for the Soul

A femme fatale never wear sneakers.

True for the “old days”. Today we have the sassiest designer sneakers; not quite fatal but attractive as they are funky and sassy cute. An evening robe with certain sneakers or rebel boots is sexy super power.

My aversion against most flats and flip flops stems from feeling that I walk like a duck. My mom never told me that life is like a box of chocolate but that I’d never be a woman as I’m walking like a tough male mechanic. Maybe that got stuck too but it’s the often serious and practical aspect of flats that doesn’t vibe with me right now; I have been grown up for two decades. When you see me wearing more of those you know that I came to balanced terms with my inner Virgo.

With Rita Barney IG/thejourneyscalling

With Isa Austen IG/IsaAusten

Barefoot freedom of convention and ego

On the other end of the spectrum is the freedom loving, convention ignoring barefoot hippie and the eccentric artist of life. I love barefoot strolls and would do them more often if men wouldn’t spit on streets…. I also love the letting go of our ego when required to put off our shoes at many temples, showing humbleness and respect to the divine - black nail polish aside.

Shoes aren’t simple, they are beautiful multi layered with symbolism in many directions.

They represent authority and power, but they can also represent humility and servitude. They can vibe snobby or relatable, sexy or androgynous, they kick butt or tip toe. It all depends on the context we find them in; our very personal context and feelings. Context transforms meaning; what was a symbol for repression can become a tool for empowerment.

Getting into what’s hidden in stilettos is my journey; can I still explore the meaning and mysteries of sexuality I never had really grasped? Can I ever get over my aversions against the patriachal mindset, it’s rules, judgments and repression?

Feel your shoes and let them talk you, maybe there’s a journey for you.

Try on different types of shoes and boots, take notes

1. How do you walk?

2. How does your body feel?

3. How do you feel?

4. Do you have flash backs of memories, judgments, opinions?

5. Which shoes do you hate? Why?

6. What type of shoe do you love? Why?

7. What type of shoes do you like on other women?

8. Is there a type of shoe your desire but don’t dare to wear?

9. Are your thoughts and feelings towards particular shoes truly yours or opinion of others?

   Questions? I’m here:)

How to style your self happy

“What’s your style?” I was asked in an interview for a fashion blog.

I scrambled for descriptions. For decades I had a definite preference for the “bohemian warrior woman” from classy cool to rock’n roll and the occasional rattling rebel chains. Then I met my midlife crisis and the anger not to be seen made me embark on a new journey into who I truly am. I looked into my wardrobe and the same old made me feel sad and tired. “Play dress up”, whispered my inner child and I finally listened to her.

I dove into styles I had judged and disliked, feared and mocked - and came out a new woman; I lost my grumpy in playfully exploring my truth. I felt that I was so much more what I had thought and a year later, when girly pink and frilly fabrics didn’t worry me any more I created the concept of fashion therapy.

“My style is not to have a style,” I answered, “but to wear what I feel.”

#stylemehappy #stylemefierce #stylemeconfident and #stylingfromtheinsideout became my guiding hashtags.

How to style your self happy?

When you discover in your wardrobe who you have become and align with your true and unique energy that often is not represented in it, you write the story you really want; your happy story. Your outfits become your affirmations.

“I am happy.”

Forget what you think you know about yourself and your outfits; FEEL them.

What makes you happy in the world of forms and styles?

• Snapshot styles that you love and long for, spontaneous and not pondered about

• Snapshot colors that make you giggle or smile

• Create a Pinterest board (or any other visual board) with these styles and colors

• That’s YOU

Inspect and feel your wardrobe

• Is this YOU represented in your outfits?

• Which of your clothes makes you frown? Why? Which story do they belong to?

• Are there items that make you smile? How?

• Who or what created your wardrobe? Voices from the past? Rules and regulations? Which beliefs hide in them?

• Why and how does this outfit matter to you?

Visit a clothing store with many different styles and try out what is “so not me!!”

• Dress up in what you have judged or were afraid of; the sexy, yuppie, superficial, girly, bossy…

• How does it make you feel? Why?

• “Sit in it”, let the outfit tell you why you judge it

  Our judgements are our guides.

  For me it were pink and sensual outfits that made me run; from what? Letting them talk to me opened my heart to my girly self who I had denied since I was a tomboy child and let me admit to my “femme fatale” who I had feared and fought for years; I even discovered a mysterious story behind it.

  Resistance makes us stiff, exploration and acceptance make us flexible to find our true happy

I love the tool of chakra colors and the scientific background of color psychology

Touch and discover the feeling of colors; which color evokes your particular happy on this particular day?

• the sweetness of pink?

• a powerful demanding red?

• the freedom and clarity of white?

• the bubbly love to communicate of light blue? The power to tell your truth of vibrant blue?

• a protective black?

• the heart opening depth of green?

• the sunny “see me” yellow?

  Chose one of the “out of your box’ pieces or an unusual color; an outfit that causes your fierce or mischievous giggle and - wear it in the real world.

  • How does it make you feel?

  • What’s the reaction around you?

  Include the bigger picture

• Make your outfits an artful adventure; consume less, reuse more; let our creativity bloom.

• Experiment with vintage

• Combine finds in your closet with new trendy items

• Discover amazingness in “once before loved” designer stores

• Spend your money with love for the planet; buy upcycled, organic, sustainable, vegan, faux fur, faux leather; there are so many options to do a little good

• Resell your fashion

  Doing good with our money gives us power.

  When we feel aligned with our outfits happiness happens.

  Happiness lies in listening to our truth and acting upon it; it’s a process and not all of your experiments will come out as your “true vibration’ but they’ll get you closer to your uniqueness. The blue and white polka dot suit was a lot of fun for me but I sold it. It was a sidekick for a day, a role I played; it is powerful to experience and stand up for our boundaries. I’m not as extrovert as I would need to be as a polkadot girl and that’s just fine. There are empowering and hindering No’s and feeling them on our skin helps to discern what’s right for us. I still don’t know why wearing orange in public makes me cringe…

  “I can’t do ruffles,” one of my styling clients said,” they are much too girly.” She tried the challenge outfit I gave her with biting-her-lips resistance and came out laughing; it made her feel her inner comedienne, which she never dared to let out because her parents had told her that she her funny was silly. Will she ever wear ruffles again? They certainly made her feel brave enough to add quirky colors to her wardrobe formerly packed with only gray and black outfits. She discovered that years of corporate restrictions had made her forget who she was beneath her rational straightforward manager self. Ruffles kicked her out of her unhappy comfort zone.

  There’s as much happiness in our No as in our Yes and only experiencing it brings clarity.

  I rarely wear sneakers but today I dug them out; my gift to myself is to let fashion and stories, thoughts and plans go and take my dog on a jog.

  What do you need to wear to help you feel happy right now?